Our fourth baby and first boy was born right before midnight on February 26, 2025. And in true Engler baby fashion, he came FAST. So in this post, I’ll be sharing our birth story!
For a bit of context, all of my births have been pretty fast, so we didn’t expect this one to be any different. We had a hospital birth with our first, a birth center birth with our second, and a homebirth with our third, and we loved our homebirth experience so much, we planned the same for our fourth!
All of my labors have been pretty similar, too, which is crazy…
- I really don’t “drop” until baby literally comes out.
- My water doesn’t break until the baby is just about out.
- And pushing doesn’t last more than about 15 minutes.
It’s nice to have those norms, but it also had me wondering if this fourth baby would be different or follow suit! I also wait a while to admit that I’m in labor, because I’m never really confident that I am until it’s pretty obvious – like I almost forget what it feels like each time until I’m back in the thick of it.
So I had the same question marks this time…
How am I going to know when it’s actually labor? I have Braxton Hicks all the time, so will I know when they change? You’d think I’d be more confident this time around, but I wasn’t.
And will they start during the day, overnight, or will I wake up in labor?
One new challenge and sort of plot twist this pregnancy is that I just felt bigger – I just knew this baby would be bigger. And our three girls were between 8 lbs 15 oz and 9 lbs 8 oz, so we have big babies as it is. But this little guy just felt bigger.
And around 34 weeks or so, I was measuring at 38 weeks, plus my midwife felt extra fluid, so she had me get another ultrasound to make sure all was well.
I had never had an ultrasound this late in pregnancy, so I didn’t really know what to expect. The ultrasound tech confirmed I had extra fluid, but it was at a safe level and made sense with everything she saw. And she also confirmed he was, indeed, a big baby, and said given his size, his estimated due date was February 4th rather than Feb 24th.
She also said he was already taking “practice breaths,” which apparently doesn’t usually happen until after 36 weeks or so, and those practice breaths can actually signal to your body that baby is ready to come out. This tech was pretty confident baby boy was coming early, so this ultrasound really threw me off.
Our other girls were born a week late, a week early, and on their due date, so I had no reason to think he was coming early. I also know that ultrasounds are only so accurate, the size measurements could be off, and I’ve never had an ultrasound that late, so who knows when my girls were “practice breathing.”
I talked to my midwife and even my former midwife, and they both said they agreed I was still healthy and baby was still safe to be born at home, and they also said I had no reason to think he’d come so early. But I still let it get to me. So I essentially had the entire month of February in my mind as my due date, which made February feel like a really long month!
I was so convinced he’d come early, even if just a few days early, so by the time we got to his due date, I was in shock. We didn’t even think about that as a potential!
And besides being really hard to wait, we had another curveball. It was February 24th, our due date, and our oldest had her next chemo treatment two hours away from home, scheduled for the following week, on March 4th and 5th. It then hit me that February is a short month, next week was coming quickly, and I not only wanted my husband at the birth, but for the first few days of our baby’s life! We also wanted baby to come in his own time, but started feeling the need to talk natural induction methods.
So my due date was Monday and we already had an appointment with my midwife for Wednesday. So I texted her letting her know that come Wednesday we wanted to talk natural induction methods with her and make a plan – I was thinking a membrane sweep and/or castor oil, but was up for any other ideas! And in the meantime, I pulled out the yoga ball for some evening bouncing and did some curb walking outside.
I also texted a woman who I had seen for prenatal massage and asked if she had any pressure point techniques or anything for natural induction – something that might help, but if not, is beneficial and good anyway! She said she didn’t have specific pressure points, but that just helping my body relax overall will be nothing but good for signaling it’s safe to bring a baby into the world. So I had a massage with her Tuesday, the day after my due date/the day before he was born.
I should also note that my parents had already come to town. I’ve always invited them to be at our births, and they were there for our first and third (our second was too fast!). So they came a few days before our due date as they were so anxious for him to come, and it was really helpful to have the extra hands and not have to worry about calling them when I thought I was potentially in labor, and worrying about if they’d get there in time.
Then come Wednesday, it felt like my Braxton Hicks contractions had changed – they were feeling crampier than usual. But that happened the other night and nothing came of it, so it was on my radar, but I didn’t think much of it. Our midwife appointment was from 5:30 to 6:30, and I told her my contractions had gotten crampier that day, but I wasn’t at all close to saying I was in labor. I had one on the way there and one while there, but they weren’t much of anything.
So our plan was to have her do a cervical check while we were there. She said she doesn’t recommend castor oil until you’re somewhat dilated, and she can’t do a membrane sweep if I’m not dilated at all. So she checked me and said I was “funneled.” Apparently I was 2 cm dilated at the opening of my cervix, but then closed at the top – so not really dilated and she couldn’t do a membrane sweep.
She also said that baby boy was still pretty high, but I always joke that that means nothing to me, because again, I don’t drop until I drop. So the plan was to come back Friday, have her check me again, potentially do a membrane sweep then, and maybe castor oil Saturday. And as we left, I joked with our midwife that we might see her in a few hours or not for a few days. She told me after the fact that she told her midwife friend she was pretty sure I’d have him that night!
On the drive home, Jason and I chatted about what we would do if he was out of town and I went into labor. And our midwife also said if Jason was gone and I still hadn’t had the baby, there was a good chance I wouldn’t go into labor because I’d be stressed about him being gone, and stress and labor don’t usually come together. So just having a plan gave us a lot of peace and we felt good about it.
I texted a few girlfriends on our drive home at 6:40 pm, saying, “With my contractions today, I’m right in the middle. I wouldn’t be surprised if baby came tonight, and I wouldn’t be surprised if he didn’t.”
We then got home around 7 and finally sat down to eat dinner. I made myself a plate of spaghetti and meatballs, but took one bite and just wasn’t hungry. I just kind of felt off, which was strange.
Jason put our younger two girls to bed at 7:30 and I still just felt strange, but wasn’t in a place to say labor. I started to feel a little cold, which was very strange because I was always hot this pregnancy, and my mom asked if something was wrong. And I said I just felt off and that this could be labor. Jason tried hugging me or touching me at some point in there and I quickly said, “Don’t touch me,” and he said “Yeah, something is happening.”
So at 7:52 I texted my friends again saying, “I second guess myself so much, but I’m leaning toward this being labor.” A few minutes later I texted my midwife and said, “I’m still functioning, so not sounding the bells, but I think it’s safe to say this is labor.”
By the time our oldest went to bed at 8:30, I told her she’d have a brother in the morning.
So at this point I was confident saying I was in labor, but I still felt good, so I bounced on the yoga ball while Jason and I watched the Great British Baking Show – I needed a distraction but knew I couldn’t focus too intensely on anything.
He knows the drill at this point, so after a bit he asked if I was timing contractions at all and I hadn’t been, so I started.
My midwife then texted me around 9:30 saying she was heading to bed, and asked for an update. So I told her, “I’ve been having contractions the last 30 minutes or so, and they’re coming every 3.5-5 minutes and lasting around a minute each time!”
Which according to the books is of course active labor. I then told her that I was still mostly talking through them rather than breathing through them, and I was able to watch TV. I knew they’d get stronger but things were definitely moving right along.
This was the trickiest part – I knew labor would get more intense, and we weren’t there yet. I also knew things could happen quickly, but we weren’t there yet. And what I really didn’t want was the team to be there for hours as I was slowly in labor. But I also knew it would take my midwife an hour to get to our house, and I was nervous about that distance and certainly didn’t want to deliver a baby without her.
So we were close to just calling her to come, when she texted again at 10 pm saying, “I’m still awake, just wanted to check in one more time. Do you need me to come?” And we said yes please, because the distance made us nervous.
So we finished up our TV show and headed upstairs to be in a more comfortable place. Even just standing up and going upstairs, things intensified. Aside from our first birth when all I wanted to do was move, laying down during labor is exactly what my body wanted, so I got comfy and tried resting in bed. I really go into the zone during labor, so Jason just rested next to me.
And then I was pretty quickly breathing through contractions. Jason texted our midwife at 10:40 saying I was now breathing through them and things were kicking up. She and her team of two arrived at 11 and we were thankful to hear them coming up the stairs!
My midwife listened to the baby in between contractions shortly after arriving, and then they just sat back and let me do my thing. Around 11:30 I got up to go to the bathroom and then switch sides, and getting up once again intensified things big time. I told them I thought I’d be pushing pretty soon, so asked them to let my parents know, and I got back in bed. Jason knelt next to me and I held his arm and one of his hands through the rest of labor. He is definitely the best daddy-doula around!
I then started pushing at 11:44 – but by pushing, I really mean breathing through my contractions and letting my body do it’s thing.
I thought our baby’s head was coming out, but it was actually the amniotic sac. So that was a bit of a bummer realizing it wasn’t actually his head. So the amniotic sac came out at 11:47, and then I started pushing/breathing out our baby’s head. His head was delivered at 11:54, and in the pause before the next contraction, I could feel him wiggling/squirming which was NOT comfortable. But the midwives said he was getting into position to deliver his shoulders. And with a bigger baby, shoulder dystocia was even more on the table as a potential, so we’re glad he was prepping his not so little body!
And at this point I also heard my mom whisper, “When do we count him as being born – when his head is out or his whole body?” Because it was technically still the 26th, and our girls all have a birthday with a six in it, so it’d be really cool if he did, too. And I remember thinking, “Don’t you dare tell me I need to get this baby out in any sort of time frame!” I had no idea what time it was, but knew we were close.
But then the next contraction came and our baby was here at 11:56 pm, making it out on the 26th!
Now, I am not a crazy person in the sense that I say labor is easy in any way, shape, or form. But I am crazy in the sense that I love it and after my babies come out I say I could do it all again! I think I also have a high pain tolerance. But I will say that James was my hardest delivery. One, he was, indeed, big! 10 pounds, 12 ounces. And 23 inches long.
But it also felt like I had three stages of pushing, since that amniotic sac came out first, then his head, and then his body. And I feel like I felt everything more than I did with my other girls. That could also be because he’s likely our last baby, so I wanted to really be present and savor his delivery, in a way. But I was also just more tired during this pregnancy, so I was very relieved he was finally here.
And then I got to snuggle my sweet boy as the midwives did their thing and took care of me. I did tear a bit and had some postpartum bleeding, but being able to be cared for all from my own bed, in my own home, is just the best! And I’ll talk more about those details and homebirth, specifically, on the blog/podcast next week.
An interesting side note…my midwife was of course there, as well as another midwife, and there was also a postpartum RN with them. But when my midwife, Abigail, called them to say I was in active labor, the other midwife questioned her, since she knew I was just with her a few hours earlier. And then when they got to our house and saw me, once again they were like, “Are you sure she’s really in active labor?”
I really just go inward and was lying in bed, rather than getting loud and moving around a lot. And then when I came out from the bathroom and said I’d be pushing soon, they again were like, “Are you sure?” And each time my midwife was like, “Yep, I know her and her labors, and she knows her body.” And he was there shortly after!
Like I said, I really love birth and babies, and it’s such a beautiful an intimate time even with just your own body, let alone your spouse, birth team, and soon baby!
Now, a lot of people wonder what we did with our girls during this time. Because it was almost midnight when James was born, our girls were of course asleep. We had asked our older two if they wanted to watch him be born, whether day or night, and they both said no. I would have loved to have them there but left it up to them!
We then also asked if he was born in the middle of the night, do you want us to wake you up to come see him. Our oldest said no, because she didn’t want to be tired in the morning (classic sleep consultant’s daughter!). But our five year old said yes!
So around 4 am, when the midwife was about to leave and everything was cleaned up, Jason went to wake up Avery. He told her baby brother was here and she could come see him now, and she said, “I’ll just wait, it’s almost morning.” She actually had no clue what time it was, but it was a funny response – she DID remember it in the morning though!
So the sisters all got to meet baby brother when they woke up the next morning. They actually saw grandma snuggling him on the couch downstairs, so they met him first with her.
We are so thankful our sweet baby boy is now here and we are enjoying all of the snuggles!
If you’re curious to learn more about homebirth, in general, as well as our “why,” check out the blog next week!
With Grace,
Lauren
