There are some milestones in parenting that shake you a bit more than others. A classic one is when your child starts calling you “Mom” or “Mommy,” rather than “Mama.” One that totally blindsided me was starting to use two-piece pajamas rather than onesie pajamas.
Then there are a lot of milestones parents look forward to! My husband couldn’t wait until our girls were strong enough to throw in the air. I love watching little ones swing or go down a slide for the first time.
In last week’s post, a “milestone” I shared all about is when and how you can give your baby a lovey or stuffed animal while they sleep.
In this post, I’ll share about another “sleep milestone” we don’t hear about as often – when to give your toddler a pillow or blanket to sleep with.
I will explain:
- At what age it’s safe to give your baby or toddler a pillow and blanket
- How to know if your toddler is ready for a pillow
- The best pillows for toddlers
- The best blankets for toddlers
- How to introduce your little one to a pillow and blanket
When is it safe to give your toddler a pillow and blanket?
According to the American Academy of Pediatrics, it is safe to give your child a pillow and/or blanket when they are two years old. They also recommend waiting to give toddlers a pillow until they’ve transitioned from a crib to a big bed.
As a sleep consultant, I actually suggest waiting to transition from the crib to a bed until your child is at least three years old, whenever possible, if not older! And I think it sounds like a huge and totally overwhelming transition to go from a crib with zero pillows or blankets, to a bed with a pillow and blanket.
So as a mom, I waited to introduce the pillow and blanket until around three years old, but before we transitioned to a big bed. I have felt safe about that decision and it’s worked well for our girls.
Waiting for a pillow or blanket until two years old, let alone three years old, may seem really late to some parents, but that’s because we think about sleep in terms of how we, as adults, sleep. I certainly can’t imagine sleeping without a pillow, it would be really uncomfortable! So we naturally think our babies and toddlers must be really uncomfortable sleeping without a pillow.
But think about your little one’s dimensions compared to yours…they are so much smaller than you and their necks are much smaller; you sleeping on a mattress without a pillow looks a lot different than a baby or toddler sleeping on a mattress without a pillow!
And trust me, your little one isn’t uncomfortable without a pillow…they have never slept with one, so they don’t know anything differently!
So once your toddler is at least two years old, and ideally around the time you transition them to a big bed, you can introduce a pillow and/or blanket to their naps and bedtime. However, you can certainly wait longer! As I mentioned, we waited until our girls were closer to three years old. They were sleeping well and didn’t know anything differently, and I didn’t know if they’d actually stay on the pillow or under the blanket all night, so it felt unnecessary.
Now notice I said pillow and/or blanket. I do not recommend introducing both at the same time! That’s a lot of change and a lot of distraction. We gave both of our girls blankets before pillows, but the order doesn’t really matter. But let them adjust to one change before adding the other! And then once they’re used to one and you’re ready for the next, you’ll introduce it the same way.
And just as a quick side note: if you feel pressured to give your toddler a blanket because you’re worried about them being cold, or grandma is worried about them being cold, remember that toddler sleep sacks exist! Don’t let the fear of them being cold be the only reason you want to throw one in the crib.
Signs your toddler is ready for a pillow or blanket
Some kids seem to be ready for a pillow or blanket around the age of two or three, and signs they are ready include:
- Showing interest in your pillows, even laying on your pillow for fun
- Asking when they will get to sleep with a pillow or blanket (this most often happens with kids who have older siblings!)
- They lay on their stuffed animal at night as if it were a pillow
- Intentionally cuddling under blankets while reading on the couch or watching TV
So if you’re seeing some of these signs, your toddler is at least two years old, and you feel comfortable introducing a pillow or blanket, go for it.
How to Introduce a Toddler to a Pillow or Blanket
Whenever making any changes to a baby or child’s sleep (i.e. bassinet to crib, sleep training, crib to bed), I always suggest making the change at bedtime first, because we have melatonin (our natural sleepy hormone) on our side at bedtime that we just don’t have during the day. And naps can be tough enough, so we want to preserve them whenever possible.
So once it is safe for your child to sleep with a pillow or a blanket, start playing with them during the day. Show them their pillow, let them lay on it, touch it, and put their stuffed animal on it. Same with introducing a blanket, you can cuddle under it while reading or watching a show. And then first give them at bedtime. As you’re getting your little one ready for bed, show them the pillow and blanket again! Remind them how to lay on their new pillow, tuck them under their new blanket, and let them practice.
And then when you lay them down to go to sleep, lay them on the pillow, or tuck them under the blanket, and then say goodnight and leave just as you always do.
You may find that your little one takes longer to sleep than usual because they’re fascinated by this new pillow or blanket you’ve just given them. And that’s okay and to be expected! Just let them be, they should eventually fall asleep.
If you look on the monitor later in the evening and find that they’re no longer on their pillow, or they’re completely out of the blanket, that’s okay! You do not need to go in and put them back into place. They are clearly fine without it and we don’t want to disturb their sleep.
You may also find that your child throws the pillow or blanket out of their bed because they just don’t want it! That’s totally fine, as well! Just leave it and let your child sleep – we don’t want to start a game of fetch at bedtime! Then when you put them to bed the next day, lay your little one back on the pillow or tuck them back under the blanket and see what happens.
If they truly just don’t want the pillow or blanket and they verbalize it to you, that’s okay, too. Take it away and try again in a few weeks or months. Remember, they can still sleep well without a pillow or blanket!
And remember that I don’t suggest giving both a pillow and blanket at the same time, as that’s a lot at once. Just do one at a time, whichever you think they’re most interested in or would be most helpful, and wait for the other until they’re used to it.
What to look for when buying your toddler a pillow
When buying your toddler a pillow, make sure it is made for toddlers – it should be small, thin, and firm! Their necks are much smaller than ours and they need different support for their developing spine, so don’t just buy a normal adult pillow for them.
The Best Toddler Pillows
- Woolino Toddler and Kids Pillow – [this is what both of our girls started with, and you can get 10% off your order when you use the code VIAGRACES!]
- Dreamtown Kids Toddler Pillow
- Little Sleepy Head Toddler Pillow
What to look for when buying your toddler a blanket
When choosing a blanket for your toddler, choose a blanket that has little to no weight to it – definitely not a weighted blanket. Your child should be able to easily put the blanket on themselves or take it off. They should also be able to move freely under the blanket.
My Favorite Toddler Blankets
- Woolino Toddler Blanket– Grandma gifted both of my girls a Woolino blanket so it’s what they both started with! These blankets are not only cute but they’re actually the same brand of sleep slacks we use, so our girls were used to the feel and they were big enough to cover their bodies, but small enough that they didn’t get all bunched up in the crib, which again, made me comfortable using them. They were also easy to travel with so our girls had another piece of home for that travel bed. [Remember you can get 10% off your Woolino toddler blanket when you use the code VIAGRACES!]
- I don’t know of any other specific toddler blanket brands, but think about any cozy Target blankets and just remember you don’t want them bigger than the crib and they shouldn’t be weighted in any way.
- Beddy’s Bedding Sets– I have not personally seen or tried Beddy’s, but I have heard good things. It’s essentially a sheet and comforter set all in one, that fits on like a fitted sheet and zips together so you don’t have to worry about blankets being scrunched up at the bottom of the bed, or falling off. These are great for big kid beds!
- Standard comforter or duvet cover- our girls now just have a standard comforter and duvet cover. Once in an open bed, you can really use any bedding you’d like!
Our personal experience introducing a pillow and blanket
We didn’t give our oldest a pillow until she was three. She wasn’t asking for one and never enjoyed sleeping with a stuffed animal, so she wasn’t showing any of the classic signs. We did give it to her while she was still in the crib, as we transitioned her to a big bed around the age of 3.5, and we wanted her used to having a pillow.
But I will say for a solid year, maybe more, she would start her night on the pillow, but then quickly move off and sleep somewhere else on her bed for the rest of the night. And that was fine!
We approached blankets similarly. I don’t remember exactly when, but we started putting a blanket in her crib sometime between 2.5-3 years old. Grandma gifted her the Woolino toddler blanket so we figured we’d let her use it! We put it on her every night as we tucked her in, and it quickly made its way to the bottom of her crib and stayed there the rest of the night.
And similar to the pillow, a year later she would always start the night under her blankets and wake up outside of them. And she still slept through the night without a problem! That’s also why she continued wearing a sleep sack every night because we lived in a basement apartment and we didn’t want to worry about her getting cold.
She was no longer napping by the time we gave her a pillow and blanket, and they didn’t seem to be a distraction at night time, so she adjusted without a problem!
With our middle daughter, I honestly don’t remember when we gave her a blanket or pillow, but I do know we gave her a pillow a bit sooner than we did our oldest because she was constantly lying on our pillows and asking when she’d get one, just like big sis. And oppositely to our oldest, as soon as we introduced that pillow, and as soon as we introduced that blanket, she slept on them! She’d start the night on the pillow and under the blanket, and wake up on the pillow and under the blanket.
Our youngest is about to turn two and we are nowhere near introducing either a pillow or blanket to her – there’s no rush! So we’ll probably wait until she’s closer to three, as well.
Conclusion
The goal of this post is to help you know when it’s safe to introduce a pillow and blanket to your toddler! It shouldn’t be because grandma keeps asking, or your friend gave one to her 18-month-old, it first and foremost has to be safe. And then is it necessary? Does your toddler actually want one? Will it help anything?
And we of course want you to feel confident knowing what kind of pillows and blankets are best for toddlers!
Remember that your child may love their pillow, they may hate their blanket, or be totally indifferent to them. And all of those options are okay! There is zero rush on sleeping on a pillow and under a blanket all night long.
Because just like other products we share, a pillow is not all of a sudden going to make your toddler sleep through the night! The perfect blanket is not all of a sudden going to convince your child to stay in their own bed all night long.
If you need help with sleep, throwing new products into the mix won’t change it. But we can!
So if you’re reading this and you’re overwhelmed just thinking about toddler sleep regressions, and walking and talking, crib climbing, and the crib to bed transition, and dropping the nap, and ugh, now pillows and blankets, but you’ve had few nights in the last year when you’ve actually slept well, let’s pause. Sleep is the first goal before throwing anything else into the mix!
If you’re looking for personalized help getting your toddler to sleep, we would love to guide you as teach your toddler to not only fall asleep independently but sleep the whole night, in their own bed. And then we can talk about all the other toddler sleep things. Check out what it would look like to work together.
With Grace,
Lauren
Note that this blog contains some affiliate links, but the reviews are from my personal use.
