When you read “safe sleep for babies,” you might roll your eyes because you’ve “been there heard that”. Or you might think you don’t need to read this, because you know the ABCs of safe sleep.

But I’d like to say this is “not your mama’s safe sleep” blog, because I’m diving into all of it, and think there’s a good chance there’s something in here you haven’t heard before.

In this post, I’m focusing on safe sleep for babies. You may or may not have thought of this, but talking about safe sleep for toddlers and big kids is also important, so we’ll dive into that next week. But today, it’s all about babies.

And when I say babies, I’m talking under 18 months, and in some instances under two years old, and I’m also kind of talking all kids in cribs. But I’ll make it clear as I share if a rule changes at a certain age.

We’ll talk about the ins and outs of the following safe sleep guidelines:

• Babies should sleep alone
• Babies should sleep on their back
• Your baby’s crib should be firm, flat, and have nothing in it
• Be mindful that your baby doesn’t get too warm
• Know when it’s time to adjust your baby’s crib height
• Understand how to safely use swaddles and sleep sacks

And so much more!

First, let’s start with what seems like the basics – the ABCs of safe sleep. If you’ve heard them before, you’ll remember that A stands for “alone,” B stands for “back,” and C stands for “crib.” Let’s start by really digging into these, before we get to even more.

Babies Should Sleep Alone

Your baby should not be sleeping with anyone.

When we say babies should be sleeping alone, we mean they should be sleeping in their bassinet or crib – not in bed with mom and dad, not in bed with their siblings, and not in a bed (or even the same room) with a pet.

We’re going to dive into a lot more nitty gritty soon, but I want to take a moment to address co-sleeping. According to the American Academy of Pediatrics and just safe sleep 101, it is not safe for infants to co-sleep. There are so many risks associated with a baby being in bed with mom and dad!

This post isn’t about fear mongering, but whether you co-sleep or not, we all know the risks.

That being said, there are a lot of people who co-sleep, whether that’s because it feels like the only way for anyone to get any sleep, or because they want to!

As a sleep consultant, I’m never going to encourage co-sleeping – my whole job is teaching parents how to get their kiddos sleeping independently! And here at Via Graces, we follow the American Academy of Pediatrics recommendations.

AND, as a mom and real human being, I know that in those early newborn days, especially, most of us hit some sort of middle of the night rock bottom, and we might make choices we wouldn’t normally make during the day, or didn’t plan on making, or don’t want to make, and those are often choices that contradict safe sleep.

So I’m not going to dig into them, as that’s out of my lane, but I do think it’s important to mention the Safe Sleep Seven. I think it’s important for you to know that co-sleeping is not considered safe, AND I think it’s important for you to know that there are “safer” co-sleeping techniques and there are less safe co-sleeping techniques.

So if you’re expecting or have a young baby and you haven’t heard of the Safe Sleep Seven, I highly recommend you check them out, so you can truly make the best decisions for your family.

There shouldn’t be any pets in the bed or in the room with your sleeping baby.

Why not pets in the room?

We have no idea what that sweet dog or cat might try to do in the middle of the night to this new creature who makes strange noises at all hours of the night. No matter how well-trained, it’s not safe for a pet to sleep in the same room as your baby.

Babies Should Sleep on Their Back

Most sleep products you own likely say, “Back is best,” so that’s what we’re talking about. When you put your baby down for a nap, they should be on their back – not their side and not their belly.

Here’s a common question: If they fall asleep during tummy time, do you need to flip them?

If your baby falls asleep during tummy time, or they seem to nap better while on their belly, as long as you are there and observing them, they’re okay.

Now, it’s important to talk about if and when this rule changes…

Once your baby learns to roll over back to belly, and belly to back, they’re safe to sleep however they choose! I still recommend you lay them down on their back, but if they choose to roll over onto their side, or belly, corner of the crib, or middle of the crib, that’s up to them! Because they’re able to dictate how they sleep at this point. Around 6 months old, I find that most babies are belly sleepers!

How to Keep the Baby’s Crib Safe

In the ABCs of safe sleep, C stands for “crib.” This is talking about how babies should sleep in a crib or bassinet that has a firm and flat mattress, a fitted sheet, and no pillows, blankets, or stuffies in there. NOTHING!

This is where we’re going to get into some reall nitty gritty. Because outside of co-sleeping, I think the whole “firm, flat mattress, nothing in it” is where so many people slip, knowingly or not knowingly.

Your baby’s mattress should be firm.

Your baby’s crib mattress should be firm – that’s why there are specific crib mattresses, and it’s why your pack ‘n play has a firm mattress. You should not be adding anything to your baby’s crib mattress to try to make it squishier, and you should not be adding anything to your baby’s pack n play mattress to make it squishier.

Did you know you can buy a pack n play mattress? It looks like a crib mattress but for the pack ‘n play. Or you can buy a little squishy mattress “topper” for their pack n play? So many parents are concerned the pack n play mattress won’t be comfortable enough so they need to add something to it – but guess what? Not safe! If it doesn’t come with your pack n play, it’s not been tested with your pack n play, so it’s not considered safe!

And want to know something? I’m not simply sharing this as a sleep consultant, I’m sharing this as a mom who had no clue buying a mattress for my baby’s pack ‘n play wasn’t safe, and who’s friend told me I should because that’s what they did, so as a first time mom, we bought a separate pack ‘n play mattress!

Was my baby safe? Yes, she’s here and alive and well and we didn’t have any trouble. I didn’t learn this wasn’t safe until she was almost two and I was being trained to be a sleep consultant! But had I taken that reality and therefore said, “I know this isn’t technically safe, but she was fine, so my other kids will be okay,” that would have been foolish. That’s called survivorship bias, and I’m not here for it!

But I want to make sure you know so that in any of this that I share, you don’t feel any shame for not knowing something – that’s why I’m sharing! It’s what we do with that knowledge that matters.

Your baby’s mattress should be flat.

Your baby’s crib mattress should be firm and it should be flat. Do you know what’s not flat? A DockATot, a SnuggleMe, Rock ‘n Play, or anything like that. We were a Rock ‘n Play family with our oldest – it was literally her bassinet for 4ish months – so again, no shame here, we had no clue until it was recalled! But now we do.

So why flat?

We need our babies to be able to turn their heads side to side and not potentially bury their face into the soft siding of something pillow-like. Even for head shape we don’t want our babies sleeping on something that’s not flat! Our babies need to have full range of motion for their heads, not to be limited by a curved or pillow-like surface.

So diving even deeper here – something like a baby swing or Mama Roo aren’t ideal sleeping spots for your baby. Something like the Bjorn Bouncer would fall into this same category!

Can your baby sleep there on occasion, when you’re observing them? Sure, I get it can be helpful to have that motion to keep the baby sleeping and your arms free. But if it’s not flat, and similar to a newborn sleeping on their belly, it’s not safe for long, unobserved sleep.

Avoid any positioners in your baby’s crib.

I wonder if you have heard your pediatrician recommend slightly inclining your baby’s bassinet or crib to help with reflux? I know this is tough, but guess what – not safe.

Because again, it’s not flat! We need your baby’s airway to stay nice and open, and a flat bassinet, crib, or pack ‘n play is the only way to ensure that. So no books under the crib legs, and no wedges to incline the mattress.

And no positioners of any sort. You shouldn’t have a little pillow in there that claims to help with head shape (disclaimer, it won’t, and also, it’s not safe!). In this post, I shared all about our nursing challenges with baby #4. And I mentioned how a provider recommend we buy a positioner for James to sleep on his side, and this mama and sleep consultant didn’t like that. It’s not safe, so don’t tell me to do something unsafe!

A note about your baby sleeping in their car seat.

Did you know your baby should never be asleep (or even awake) in their car seat if it’s not clipped into the car or stroller? So often I see parents carry their sleeping baby in the car seat into church, or a restaurant, or someone’s house, and just put the car seat on the ground as they sleep. And I get it, who wants to wake a sleeping baby, especially if it was hard earned?

But your baby can get into positions that compromise their airways when they are in their car seat NOT buckled into the base or stroller, so take your baby out. Yes, even if that means a short/interrupted nap.

There should be nothing in the crib with your sleeping baby.

It’s not safe to have any small blankies, lovies, or stuffed animals in the crib until your baby is at least 12 months old – and I talk more about that in this post.

So although your tiny newborn isn’t moving, that big stuffed animal grandma got you at the baby shower should not be in the corner of their crib as decoration! It’s. not. Safe. Same with that hand-made quilt – it shouldn’t be draped over the side of the crib. We shouldn’t have any blankets or pillows in the crib until at least two years old, and I talk more about that in this post.

We won’t get into pacifier-specific talk, as I chat all about pacifiers and sleep here, but I do want to mention pacifiers with little animals attached to them, like the WubbaNub. Those should not be in the crib with your baby!

There should be nothing attached to your baby’s crib.

Segwaying from being alone and on a firm and flat surface, there should be nothing attached to your baby’s crib in any way.

The most obvious yet still used so often are crib bumpers! Crib bumpers are not safe. And yes, I’m even talking about mesh crib bumpers – NOT SAFE! Maybe your baby can breathe through them, but it’s still something attached to the crib that could become detached, and now that’s a safety hazard.

There shouldn’t be a mobile attached to your baby’s crib, despite how cute they are!

And have you seen those crib aquariums? Those attach to the crib, which mean they could fall off – so not safe! Not to mention totally unnecessary.

Your monitor should not be on the crib at all, either! I can’t tell you how many pictures I see of monitors sitting on the corner of a baby’s crib – not safe! Those should be on a shelf, or mounted on the wall – NOT ON THE CRIB!

Connected to this is chords – make sure the monitor chord isn’t within reach of the crib. Same with the sound machine – it should not be even close to possible for your baby to potentially reach a chord from their crib!

Be Mindful that Your Baby Doesn’t Get Too Warm

Next Let’s talk temperature. The ideal temperature for a baby’s nursery is 68-72 degrees Fahrenheit, and I’d say parents are more often worried about babies being too cold, but babies being too warm is also a thing, and I’d say more often the actual problem!

So make sure you’re not overdressing your baby, you’re not double swaddling or sleep sacking, they don’t have a sleep sack with a high TOG for a room that 68-72 degrees, you don’t have them in fleece everything – we don’t want baby overheating!

In a similar vein, your baby shouldn’t be sleeping in a hat! Another “I’m a real mom” moment here, our oldest slept with a hat on every night for maybe the first four or six months. I remember my mom saying she needed a hat so she wouldn’t be cold, so we went with it! I didn’t even think about the fact that a hat could easily slip off my wiggly baby and cover her face – so no hats for sleep!

And no baby mits, either. There’s a very high chance your baby’s hands will feel cold in the middle of the night – and that’s okay, your baby isn’t too cold. That’s so normal. (And side note, if you’re worried your baby truly could be too cold, this blog post talks about safe options to keep your baby warm!)

I also know that your baby sometimes wakes up with a scratch on their face in the morning and it’s just so sad. But not reasons to put baby mits on your baby when they’re sleeping! Again, they could come off. There are some pajamas that have built in little mits you can pull over your baby’s hands if you’re really concerned – those are okay – but nothing that can come off. 

Know When It’s Time to Adjust Your Baby’s Crib Height

Next, let’s talk the height of the crib! Most cribs have three height settings – a high setting for newborns, a medium setting, and a low setting. And I’d say most people don’t lower their crib when necessary!

Once your baby is able to sit up, you absolutely need to drop to the middle setting. And I actually recommend doing so once baby is really rolling, or at least showing signs of maybe sitting up soon, because sitting up can really sneak up on you! And you never want to find your baby sitting up in their crib when it’s on its highest setting.

And once they’re showing signs of pulling to stand, the crib should be dropped to its lowest setting. And again, better to be safe than sorry, I like to drop it all the way down before those signs of pulling begin, because babies develop so quickly!

Understand How to Safely Use Swaddles and Sleep Sacks

The last point safe sleep tip here is about swaddles and sleep sacks.

Here at Via Graces, we recommend transitioning your newborn out of their swaddle around the 10 week mark – and yes, that’s often before babies are rolling. So if you follow our Newborn Sleep from A to Z course, you’re all set here! But that’s not a safety thing, that’s more giving your babe the opportunity to keep learning how to move their body, integrate that startle reflex, and figure out how to self-soothe.

Swaddles do, however, become a safety issue once your baby starts trying to roll. Note that I’m not saying once your baby is rolling, but once your baby starts showing signs of trying to roll, you have to get them out of that swaddle asap.

And finally, weighted sleep sacks. I’m a big fan of sleep sacks, and I talk all about my favorites here, but NOT weighted sleep sacks.  Although there isn’t clear evidence that weighted sleep sacks are unsafe, there just isn’t enough evidence that they are safe, so why risk it? There are so many other amazing options.

Conclusion

My guess is you’ve ready something today you didn’t know about safe sleep – which is both an honor that I get to share it with you, and also a frustration that there is so much information out there for new parents and so many classes even at the hospital for new parents. You usually have to sign something at the hospital saying you won’t sleep while holding your newborn while you’re in the hospital. Yet parents then go home and there are just so many unknowns never talked about!

So in wrapping up, that was the goal here. To explain the ins and outs of safe baby sleep, because when we know better, we do better. And our precious babies are worth the absolute BEST!

Also remember, however, if I shared something that you’re currently doing – maybe you regularly bring your baby into your house while they’re sleeping in the car seat and let them finish the nap in the car seat on the ground. Maybe you haven’t lowered the crib mattress yet. Or maybe that monitor is sitting on the corner of the crib…I’m so glad you’re here!

Don’t beat yourself, the point here isn’t shame, or embarrassment, or questioning the way you love and care for you baby. I broke lots of safe sleep rules with my first because I simply didn’t know. Just change it today! Move that monitor, drop the crib, and no more car seat naps outside of the car seat base or stroller.

The good news is your baby is safe, AND we can get even safer now that you know the ins and outs of safe baby sleep.

So if you know someone expecting or with a young baby, please share this post with them! And if you have a toddler or big kid and you haven’t really thought about what safe sleep looks like for them, make sure you come back next week as we do another deep dive!

With Grace,

Lauren