It is back-to-school season, which is usually a very transitional time for families. If your baby or toddler is in daycare, this might be when they go back to daycare after being home for the summer, or move up to another room, maybe you’re putting your little one in daycare for the first time…or maybe daycare is staying the exact same!

Whatever that may look like, I want to come alongside you and chat about what you can realistically expect regarding daycare sleep, both from your provider and your child.

This post is not geared specifically toward parents who want to sleep train, are currently sleep training, or who have sleep trained. If you fall into one of these categories, this is still very much for you, but if you fall into the category of, “we have no intentions of sleep training”, or “we will sleep train eventually but not now”, this is still for you!

Next week’s post will more specifically talk to parents who will or are or have sleep trained, and how to think about daycare and communicate with providers in terms of sleep training.

In today’s post, I will share:

• What to expect of your baby or toddler’s sleep environment at daycare
• How to ask about daycare’s rules around sleep
• What to expect of your baby or toddler’s naps at daycare
• How to help your baby or toddler sleep at home after daycare (especially if they take short daycare naps!)

And more!

Expectations About the Daycare Sleep Environment

Darkness and White Noise

I want to start by saying that your baby or toddler will NOT have a dark room to sleep in at daycare. Sometimes there is a separate room for sleep, but I can pretty much guarantee it won’t be totally blacked out. More often than not, however, where your little one will nap is pretty much right where all of the action is! There’s a good chance the lights will be on, the cribs might be over in a corner that may be slightly darker, but they’ll probably be able to see all of the other kids playing.

There’s also a chance there won’t be white noise! It seems that there most often is white noise, though music is also pretty common, and sometimes there’s nothing in the background at all – except lots of little voices. 

So what do you do?? Isn’t a totally dark room and white noise best for sleep? Yes! BUT, you can’t control the daycare environment – you just can’t. What you should NOT do is keep your child’s room super bright at home, or ditch the sound machine at home, so they’re used to it at daycare!

We are wired to sleep better in a totally dark room, and that white noise helps us all fall and stay asleep, so don’t give your kiddo sub-par sleep every day and every night simply because daycare is different.

Let’s control what we can, and let go of what we can’t control.

Let me first encourage you by saying your child will sleep. I’ll share more about what their sleep might realistically look like, but they will sleep! It might not be the best, it might be way better at home, it may take a while, but they will sleep!

I also want to add that it’s for sure the minority, but I have heard of some daycares that will let you send in a SlumberPod for your little one to sleep in. Unlikely, but I have heard of some who allow it, so it’s worth asking!

However, many daycares are okay with you sending a sound machine to stay there for your little one to use while they sleep!

Toddler Cots

Another sleeping environment expectation I want to share is that most toddlers (12 months and older) sleep on cots at daycare – no more crib. And it works! Kids have the herd mentality at daycare – everyone else is sleeping on a cot, so of course I’ll sleep on a cot.

But similar to the blackout shades and white noise conversation…DO NOT NOW TRANSITION YOUR BABY/YOUNG TODDLER TO A COT AT HOME! You will not have the same amazing results that daycare has, because that herd mentality is gone. So save yourself big headaches and keep your little one in the crib until as close to three as possible.

Sleep Sacks and Lovies

Two other little sleeping environment pieces worth asking about are sleep sacks and lovies. If your baby is under 12 months old, they shouldn’t be sleeping with any loose items, they can, however, wear a sleep sack! And a sleep sack can be one piece of home and familiarity that helps your little one sleep at daycare, so it’s worth asking if you can send one during the week and keep it at daycare. Then they usually send it home over the weekend to be washed, and you send it back on Monday.  

Similarly, some daycares are okay with you sending a little lovey! After 12 months old, you can give your baby a little lovey or stuffed animal to sleep with, so consider buying an extra and again and asking daycare if you can send it with your child! Having that comfort item from home could make a difference.

Ask About Daycare’s Rules Around Sleep

Next, I want to chat about what’s important to know about your daycare and their sleep policies.

In addition to figuring out what the sleeping environment will look like and if there’s anything you can do to make it feel more like home, it’s important to ask your provider what their “rules” are about sleep. I’ve tried figuring out what the rules are by state, or in-home daycares versus centers, and there just isn’t a norm. It’s truly dependent on the provider, so make sure you ask!

Some daycares really don’t allow any crying around sleep – they will do everything they can to prevent crying. For some parents, you might be like, “Come on, just give him five minutes and he’ll fall asleep!” While other parents are like, “Whew, thank goodness, please don’t let me baby cry while they’re trying to fall asleep.”

Other daycares follow the parents’ lead on crying. If you tell them they can leave your baby crying for 10 minutes, they’ll do it! If you ask them not to let your baby cry, they’ll listen!

I would also ask what they do when a baby or toddler just won’t nap. How long do they try? Do they then just skip the nap, or try again in a little bit? We can’t expect a provider to spend hours with one child trying to get them to sleep, AND we don’t just want your baby skipping naps!

So it’s important to know what they’ll actually do – do they eventually rock them? Put them in a swing or stroller? Skip the nap? Try again 30 minutes later? Or maybe they are on board with whatever you’d like – so tell them what you’d like them to do if your baby or toddler hasn’t fallen asleep in a certain amount of time.

It’s also important to ask about their nap schedules. If you have a baby or toddler on a one-nap schedule, they will very likely have a set sleep time along with everyone else. But sometimes that nap is not until 1 pm, and for a 15-month-old who recently transitioned to one nap, that’s pretty late! So you can also ask if there’s any way to put them down a bit earlier.

Or sometimes they move your 12-month-old to a one-nap schedule simply because they’re 12 months old, even if they’re not ready for the switch. So it’s also worth learning if there’s wiggle room there – can your baby stay on a two-nap schedule past the age of 12 months, if need be, or is it just not possible?

Some daycares also have a schedule for babies on two nap schedules, but not always. For babies who still take multiple naps, ask how they approach sleep! Ask if they’re willing to follow general awake windows you give them (I say general, as there are many children to care for so it likely won’t be perfect!). We don’t want a 5-month-old being pushed into a two-nap schedule with the older babies. We also don’t want the providers simply watching for a 5-month-old’s tired cues, because they may not show them until it’s too late! So ask how they approach nap schedules, regardless of your little one’s age.

And finally, ask how long your daycare will let toddlers nap! Some daycares wake everyone up by 3 pm, whereas other daycares have a “we won’t wake kids up” kind of rule. It’s also worth knowing what they do with kiddos who don’t need to nap anymore!

There are some kids who nap at daycare/preschool until they head off to kindergarten, and it works for them. There are also, however, older toddlers who are still napping at daycare and it starts to really wreak havoc on their overnight sleep because they’re just not tired enough at bedtime to fall asleep and/or stay asleep!

So make sure you know if there’s an option for toddlers who no longer nap, or if they can wake your toddler at a certain time, if need be. Some daycares really leave that decision up to you, as parents, so make sure you know!

Realistic Expectations for Your Baby or Toddler’s Naps at Daycare

Now I want to transition into realistic expectations of what naps will likely look like at daycare.

So first, it is so common for kids to not really sleep when they first go to daycare. Some kids really don’t sleep, some kids really won’t eat; it’s a big adjustment, so we have to expect it to take time to find some sort of normal.

Once your baby or toddler does start to sleep, I want you to know that short daycare naps are so normal! It’s bright in there, it might be loud, and as your little one stirs from one sleep cycle, they might open their eyes and see kids playing. Why in the world would they go back to sleep?

Now for some babies, those short daycare naps might kind of stick around. Your baby might take amazing naps at home but regularly stick to 30-minute naps at daycare, and that’s normal! Frustrating, but normal.

Once your baby is on a two-nap schedule, both at home and at daycare, there’s a better chance of them taking longer naps at daycare. And then hopefully this is encouraging, but once your baby/toddler is taking one nap at daycare, I can pretty much guarantee they’ll start taking a longer nap! It might not happen right away, but again, that herd mentality is strong. Plus they’re just super tired.

So if your baby still takes multiple naps a day at daycare and they’re all short naps, it might feel far off, but once they’re on a one-nap schedule, they will very likely slide into a consistent and long nap every day.

Along with these realistic nap expectations, I also want to say that some babies and toddlers take great naps at daycare and terrible naps at home – this is especially true for those little ones who aren’t yet sleep trained. But I want you to know that can be normal, too! Some toddlers need a pacifier at home, but haven’t had one at daycare in two years. Frustrating, but very normal.

How to Help Your Baby or Toddler Sleep After Daycare

The last piece I want to share is how to help your baby at home, and I’m especially talking about those babies and toddlers who take short naps at daycare.

Plan for a Cat Nap

Let’s first start with when you pick up your baby/when you get home. If your baby hasn’t slept in a while, there’s a good chance they’ll fall asleep in the car after you pick them up. If that’s the case, let them sleep! Drive around for a bit or sit in your driveway for 30 minutes to let them have a snooze – they probably need it!

Or if you live really close to daycare, intentionally drive around a bit longer so they can fall asleep. Or plan to pop them in the carrier or in the stroller right when you get home so they can catch an early evening cat nap.

Plan for an Early Bedtime

If they just won’t take that cat nap, or the cat nap means way too late of a bedtime, then early bedtimes are going to be your best friend! For a little one who just doesn’t nap well during the day, early bedtimes are key.

When on a classic “7-7” schedule, 6:30 is the “ideal” early bedtime, but I’ve certainly recommended (and done so with my own kids!), a 6 or 6:15 bedtime, when necessary. This helps fight off some extra overtiredness and also make up for that lost daytime sleep!

I know an early bedtime sounds like an extra bummer when you’ve been away from your little one all day, but if they’re up super late and cranky, that’s not great quality time, or if they’re up more in the night due to overtiredness, that’s not going to be sweet for anybody! So don’t shy away from those early bedtimes, when need be.

Consider Sleep Training

And the last thing you can do at home to help your baby or toddler sleep better at daycare is to sleep train. I’m certainly not saying you have to sleep train, or you have to sleep train right now, I’m just saying that sometimes sleep training our little ones, meaning teaching them how to fall asleep independently, can make a difference at daycare!

We’ll talk more specifics in next week’s post, but sleep training may help your baby fall asleep more smoothly or more quickly, or on a more predictable schedule at daycare.

On the realistic front, however, I also want to make sure you know that just because you sleep train does not mean your baby will now take long daycare naps; it’s not that simple. But it can really help. And it can make a huge difference for when they get home and how their night goes!

Conclusion

The goal of this blog post is to help you be as prepared as possible when it comes to dropping your little one at daycare and knowing what to expect sleep-wise, especially! What can you expect when it comes to the sleep environment, and if there is anything you can do to help. What might your little one’s sleep realistically look like, and what do you do with that? What about when you get home, how can you help your short napper?

I want you to know what’s normal.

I also want to make sure you know that daycare is an adjustment! Some kids don’t sleep at first, some don’t eat, and some are moodier at home. If this is your little one’s first time in daycare, you’re probably adjusting too and it’s not always easy. Give yourself grace and time, give your little one grace and time, and know that your providers also need grace and time as they’re learning your child and figuring out a good rhythm for everyone there!

AND remember that you are your little one’s biggest advocate, so don’t shy away from communicating what they need, and communicating that a few times, and in different ways, until you feel heard or like a good solution has been made.

With Grace,

Lauren