We’ve been in a little series talking all about sleep training hesitations.

We started with what’s probably the biggest, which is, “Does sleep training harm attachment?” We then moved to, “How much crying is involved in sleep training?” Last week we talked about whether sleep training will make your life more rigid and make you stuck at home every day.

And today we’re talking about breastfeeding…

Can you breastfeed and sleep train?  

If you’re a nursing mom and even thinking about sleep training, chances are you’ve wondered, “Does sleep training mean I have to stop nursing overnight?”

Or worse, “Will sleep training tank my milk supply?” Or, “My baby probably won’t sleep through the night until I wean.”

Well, let me jump right to the answer, and then rewind and dive deep with you.

The answer is, YES, you can absolutely breastfeed your baby and sleep train. You don’t have to choose between the two.  Breastfed babies are absolutely capable of consolidated sleep. And we can protect both your milk supply and your sanity.

As we dive in, I’m going to organize this episode by chatting through these three points:

• Sleep training does not equal weaning
• Breastfed babies can sleep through the night
• Dropping night feeds doesn’t have to tank your milk supply

And then I’ll share some feeding and sleep tips to support nursing and sleep!

Now, I want you to know that I’m sharing all of this as a mom of four who has exclusively breastfed all of her babies! I nursed my three girls for 17-21 months, and I’m still currently nursing my 13-month-old son. I LOVE BREASTFEEDING and don’t even want to think about weaning my last baby.

I also really love sleep.

And all of my little nurslings have been able to sleep through the night! My oldest started sleeping through at 10 months when we sleep trained her, my second was sleeping through at 10 weeks old, threw a night feed back in around four months, and was sleeping through again at 6 months. My third slept through from 8-10 weeks on. And my son started sleeping through the night at 9 months when we were finally able to sleep train.

And again, THEY WERE ALL BREASTFED BABIES!

I’m also sharing this as a sleep consultant who has helped countless other breastfeeding mamas continue nursing their babes, AND finally get some sleep!

Now, this isn’t a “breast is best” post, because that’s just not true or helpful. This is me responding to a common hesitation breastfeeding mamas have that they’ll need to wean if they want to sleep, or that they have to choose between nursing and sleeping through the night.

Sleep Training Does Not Equal Weaning

First, hear me when I say that sleep training does not equal weaning. Sleep training is about sleep, weaning is about eating.

The main, overarching goal of sleep training is that your little one will be able to fall asleep independently. That you’ll be able to walk through your bedtime routine, lay your baby or toddler down awake, leave the room, and know that they’ll fall asleep within a few minutes.

THAT’S THE GOAL OF SLEEP TRAINING!

Is sleeping through the night a sleep training goal? Yes, for many families it is – when their babies are physically ready. Which may be when they sleep train, or their babe may still need one or two night feeds while sleep training, and that’s okay! They can still learn to fall asleep independently, wake in the night for those feeds, and then put themselves back to sleep.

And then they’ll ideally drop those night feeds when they’re physically ready.

A big piece of sleep training is separating feeding from falling asleep, which we will chat more about when we get to the sleep tips. But sleep training does not mean eliminating breastfeeding!

Now, to be super transparent…have I ever worked with a family whose little one weaned as a result of sleep training? Yes, I can think of two or three toddlers who were still nursing when we started working together, and they pretty quickly self-weaned.

These kiddos were essentially just nursing at nighttime to fall asleep, and in the middle of the night to fall back asleep. And they already weren’t nursing much during the day.

So when mom stopped nursing them to sleep at bedtime, and they started naturally connecting their sleep cycles overnight, they didn’t want the breast! Because to them, nursing and sleep were one and the same. So when nursing was separated from sleep, they didn’t want it!

Note that they were toddlers, not babies. And I told mom this was a possibility before we started working together, as nursing was really only around sleep at that point.

So could a toddler wean due to sleep training? Sure, I’ve seen it happen. But it’s not the norm, and sleep training definitely does not mean a baby will wean – milk is still so important for them!

Breastfed Babies Can Sleep Through the Night

So many people think that they have to switch to formula for their baby to sleep through the night. Or that their baby has to eat solids before they can sleep through.

I was on the phone with a nursing mom a few months ago, and I paused when she said, “I mean, I know he’ll never sleep through the night until I wean,” and I had to pause the conversation there and be like, “Nooooo, not true!”

A well-fed baby, who is healthy and growing well, and is physically ready, and can independently connect sleep cycles, is a baby who can sleep through the night. It’s not about the exact age or the exact weight. And it’s not about breastmilk v. formula, or even if they’ve started solids or not.

Breastfed babies can sleep through the night, formula-fed babies can sleep through the night, and some babies can sleep through the night before starting solids! It’s not an expectation, but it’s totally possible.

AND, it’s okay for your baby to still need night feeds! You can still sleep train, and they can still be independent sleepers.

Now, just for expectation setting or maybe norm-setting, it’s often around 6 months old that babies are able to sleep through the night. So if we’re working with a 4-5 month old, I tell parents that they’ll likely need one, maybe two night feeds. I tell them they certainly could sleep through, but I wouldn’t expect it.

If I have a 6-month-old come to me, I’m right on the fence either way! 7 or 8 months old, I’m much more confident they’ll be ready, and by 9-10 months old, I’m pretty certain they’ll be able to sleep through, unless there’s a weight gain issue or another medical challenge.

But for any of those kiddos, 4 months old or 10 months old, our posture is always to see what the babies naturally do once we start teaching those independent sleep skills, meaning they might still have night feeds those first few days! We’re not all of a sudden pulling every feed just because they’re 10 months old.

Sleep Training Doesn’t Mean Your Milk Supply Will Tank

Talking about sleep training and milk supply is more nuanced, and it’s based on mom and her milk supply. And I don’t pretend to be a lactation consultant, so definitely chat with your lactation consultant if you have questions or concerns or want a plan.

But for me, personally, I’ve never had an issue with milk supply when my babies started sleeping through the night. They nursed well during the day, they didn’t nurse overnight, and my supply adjusted! I didn’t have to do anything about it.

For some, especially those who tend toward an oversupply, or those who have been nursing their babies all night long…when their babies start sleeping through the night, they are physically uncomfortable. So some moms might use a Haakaa in the middle of the night if they wake up super engorged, or use a hand pump real quick, just to take off the edge of engorgement. This isn’t a forever thing, it’s just as their supply adjusts.

I randomly had to do this a month or two ago, which is strange, because my son is 12 months old! But I think it only happened that once.

For some, especially those who have a lower milk supply, when their babies start sleeping through the night, or even as they start sleep training and know sleeping through is a possibility, they throw in a pumping session around 10 pm, right before they go to bed. So they stimulate their milk supply one more time, but then ideally don’t disrupt their own sleep.

Though I’ve worked with some moms who do set their alarm for a 2 am pumping session, due to supply needs.

But again, if you’re nervous about your milk supply tanking if and when your baby starts sleeping through the night, definitely consult with a lactation provider.

And know that continuing to have a wonderful breastfeeding relationship is totally possible after sleep training, and more specifically, after your baby starts sleeping through the night!

Practically, what does it look like to sleep train a breastfed baby?

Sleep training a breastfed baby looks a whole lot like how we sleep train a bottle-fed baby.

There aren’t big rules on what time you feed them, how many ounces, or how many minutes, or at what times. We want you to feed your baby when they’re hungry.

We simply aim to put a space between eating and sleeping.

The first place we do this is after your baby wakes up in the morning or after a nap. Try to wait at least 10 minutes before feeding them, so sleeping and eating aren’t so closely connected.

The other place we do this is before sleep. Try to leave around 15-20 minutes between when your baby is done nursing or finishes their bottle, and when you put them to bed. This will help avoid drowsiness, and it will also help keep them from falling asleep while eating. The goal here is for your baby to fill their bellies, then go through their bedtime routine, then fall asleep.

And sometimes it’s actually easier for dad to do bedtime the first night or two of sleep training, just so baby isn’t confused as to why mom isn’t nursing them to sleep, and therefore more frustrated.

When it comes to night feeds, our main “rule” is to try to wait at least three hours between night feeds. If your baby nursed well at bedtime, they very likely won’t need another feed until at least three hours later.

And when you do give that night feed, our goal is for them to know that they’re nursing and to know they’re back in their crib. They won’t be wide awake, as it’s the middle of the night – you won’t be either – we just want them aware that they’re hungry and eating, and aware they’re back in their bed. This is how we make sure they’re not using that night feed simply in order to get back to sleep.

And finally, for those night wakings when baby likely doesn’t need a feed? Just like with bedtime, it’s usually easier for dad to respond to those, so mom and baby aren’t tempted to nurse!

Conclusion

The goal here is to reassure breastfeeding moms that they can continue nursing their baby AND sleep! Breastfeeding and sleep training can absolutely come together – they aren’t on opposite teams!

When done well, they actually support each other, because a well-rested baby often nurses better, and I’ve worked with many nursing mamas who actually enjoy breastfeeding more now that it’s separated from sleep!

And the goal here is also to make breastfeeding and sleep training feel more doable.

Also remember that sleep training is up to you and your partner. I’m not here to tell you to sleep train, or convince you to sleep train – that’s a personal decision. I’m just here to answer the hesitations and to clear up the misconceptions.

I’m also here as a nursing mom and a sleep coach who has not only sleep trained and continued nursing her own babies, but also helped countless other families do the same.

So as a final reminder, you don’t have to choose between breastfeeding and sleep. You can still enjoy nursing. And you’re not “taking something away” or removing connection by sleep training – you’re giving your baby sleep and removing the exhaustion!

And if you want help making both nursing and sleep work, we’d love to support you. Click here to learn more about what that could look like.

With Grace,

Lauren