This week my teammate Sam is joining us, and she’s going to be sharing her top tips on how to manage bedtime solo when you have multiple kiddos, because due to her hubby’s job, that is her norm!

Can you tell us what makes you an expert when it comes to doing bedtime solo with multiple kids?

My husband, Patrick, is a doctor. He works in the city and we live in the suburbs, so coming home with traffic and during rush hour, he usually misses the kids’ bedtime during the week. Some nights we get lucky and he’s home, but there are probably five nights a week I’m doing solo bedtime with my two kiddos.

Before we dive into all of the details, give us a bird’s-eye view of what bedtime looks like at your house.

It’s kind of evolved over the years, but right now, Adam is six and Lilly is three. And as Lilly recently dropped her nap, their bedtimes are no longer the same time.

I try to make things as similar as possible for them to streamline what I can. So after dinner, we usually play for a little bit then we’ll all go upstairs, and the kids both take a bath.

We will brush teeth and continue getting them ready at the same time, and then Lilly goes to sleep around 7 pm and Adam around 8 pm. So I read to Lilly and then kiss her goodnight, and then Adam and I have about an hour of one-on-one time before he goes to sleep.

Were there seasons when bedtime was not so smooth? And if so, can you tell us what that looked like?

When Lilly was a newborn, Adam was three. He was still in a crib at that point and he was thankfully a solid sleeper, but Lilly was obviously taking four to five naps a day and one of the naps would inevitably cut into when Adam was going to sleep.

It was tough because I was sometimes trying to nurse a newborn and put a toddler to sleep. Or Lilly would be in the carrier attempting a final nap as I was trying to give Adam a bath.

It was a lot to juggle and I was very overwhelmed, but I’d figure it out. Sometimes I’d get the little bouncy chair or a little rocker for her as I was getting him to bed. But that was a lot more complex than what we have now.

What are your top tips for parents who have to do bedtime with multiple kiddos solo, whether that’s once in a blue moon or regularly?

1. Start everything a little earlier

I highly recommend starting everything a little earlier than you think you need to, including dinner! Moving our evening routine up has helped everything feel less rushed and gives us a little breathing room when things don’t go according to plan.

2. Clean up before heading upstairs

I know that once the kids are asleep, I’m exhausted and the last thing I want to do is clean the kitchen or pick up the house. Getting it done beforehand means I can start the next morning with a clean, organized space — and actually enjoy some downtime after bedtime!

3. Do as much as possible together

When it’s time to get the kids ready for bed, I try to do as much of the routine together as we can. So we brush their teeth at the same time, get their pajamas on, and lay out clothes for the next day together. And everyone has their own little jobs, which keeps the kids involved, builds independence, and helps the routine run more smoothly.

4. Give everyone a role

Adam is old enough to get himself dressed and ready for bed. So once he’s finished in the tub, he can get dressed and enjoy a few quiet activities in his room while I tend to Lilly. I have found that the little age-appropriate independence makes a BIG difference!

5. Stagger bedtimes

Depending on the kids’ ages and sleep needs, this isn’t always possible or best. But now that Lilly no longer naps, she goes to bed about an hour before Adam. So we read books together and then I put Lilly to bed around 7 pm, leaving about an hour of time with Adam.

6. Protect one-on-one time

Adam’s bedtime is around 8 pm, which gives us some special time together after Lilly is asleep. We work on reading and school assignments, talk about his day, or just enjoy being together. If he’s working independently, I can even fold a load of laundry nearby!

7. Make the most of independent sleep

Sleep training was a huge part of what helped our routine run smoothly, especially when Lilly was a baby. Having a predictable bedtime routine and knowing she could settle to sleep independently made solo evenings much more manageable for me.

By the time Adam is in bed listening to audiobooks, the kitchen is clean, the kids are settled, and I finally have time to catch up on things — or simply sit down and watch a show!

Is there anything else you’d like to share?

I’m so used to doing everything by myself that I find it hard to delegate tasks when my husband is home. So when he is home, or a family member is in town, I try to be more thoughtful about how to include him because he loves being home for the routine because he rarely gets to, and he wants to be a part of it! So I find that I have to be a bit more flexible on those evenings, and it’s all about shifting my mindset.

If you find yourself dreading bedtime every night – maybe because you’re doing it alone, or maybe because it takes two hours before everyone’s asleep, or maybe because you know it’s just a matter of time before someone wakes up and you’re starting all over again – know that we’re here to help!

If you need help with your little one’s sleep – if you want to feel confident that the end of the bedtime routine is going to result in sleep – that’s what we’re here for! We’d love to chat with you on a free discovery call so we can hear more about what your current sleep situation is, and from there share more about what it would look like to work together.