“She must be teething.” I wish I could tell you how many times my husband and I said that very sentence, assuming our oldest daughter’s sleep challenges must be connected to teething.
How much does teething really impact our babies’ sleep? That’s just what we’ll be talking about today.
Rewind back about 7.5 years ago when my oldest woke constantly throughout the night, I can’t tell you how many times we figured it must be because she was teething.
I’m embarrassed to tell you how many times we gave her Tylenol because we thought she must surely be in pain with such awful sleep. But spoiler alert? The Tylenol didn’t make a difference, because another spoiler alert…her awful sleep was not because of teething.
But teething seems to be the ultimate scapegoat when it comes to sleep, and understandably so.
As first time parents, especially, we had no idea what teething looked like. “Her gums will be swollen,” the pediatrician told us. We had no idea what that even meant!
And even if we did know what it meant, how often are you actually able to see those little swollen bumps with a wiggly baby?
As second time parents, we at least knew what we were looking for, but those top teeth still seem impossible to predict, and don’t even get me started with molars!
To help us all out, in this blog post, I will share:
- What teething looks like in babies and toddlers
- How teething might affect your baby or toddler’s sleep
- Some ways to relieve your child’s teething pain and discomfort
- How to help your baby sleep while teething
And more!
What does teething look like?
With my girls, the most consistent sign they were teething was drool. The drool game was REAL! We would go through soaked onesie after soaked onesie, and soaked bib after soaked bib.
Our oldest, Olivia, was never really one to gnaw on things or even put toys in her mouth, however Avery, our second, certainly did, which made teething toys extra helpful.
Even as Avery got older and didn’t put as many toys in her mouth now and was never a thumb or finger sucker, she would start putting her fingers in her mouth a lot more when a tooth is coming in. I even caught her gnawing on a chair once!
Extra fussiness is another common sign our little ones are teething. As those little teeth start making their way up, your baby may feel some extra pressure in their mouth and it certainly seems to be uncomfortable.
But I also have to say, just because a baby is drooling, or mouthing toys, or is extra fussy, doesn’t automatically mean they’re teething; those are all part of being a baby!
Swollen gums are another sign your baby is teething, and those are definitely more reliable (once you know what you’re looking for!). Even then, it could still be several days before the tooth actually cuts through.
I’m really not confident saying my babies are teething until I see that little pearly white right under their gums, and it’s generally two or three days before it cuts through – that’s really the only way of actually knowing!
Note that I’m NOT saying a fever is a sign of teething! Fevers being related to teething are a really common misconception, and there aren’t studies that prove they’re connected.
All of this to say, there are certainly signs that your little one is teething, however I don’t want those teething signs to send you into a tizzy because you’re already assuming sleep will be terrible.
So that brings us to our next question…
How does teething affect babies’ and toddlers’ sleep?
Guess what…sometimes it doesn’t!!
All four of my kids now have absolutely woken up and boom, there’s a tooth (or two!). But some teeth have seemed to disrupt their sleep. And there doesn’t seem to be a pattern with which teeth it is.
Now, while babies may feel the pressure of a tooth slowly wiggling its way up for a week or two, if the discomfort is actually going to affect sleep, it’s likely only going to be during the day or two the tooth is actually cutting through the gums.
Which means it might only cause extra stirrings or full wakings for one or two nights. So when I have families who tell me their child’s sleep has been off for several weeks, and they think it’s likely due to teething, I know we need to dig more.
While I know it may feel like it, babies don’t teethe for six weeks straight!
If teething were truly the big bad sleep disrupter that so many of us assume it is, our babies and kids would never sleep. They get new teeth until they’re 2-3 years old (hello, molars!), and then once they start losing baby teeth, adult teeth start growing in.
That’s a long time to be “teething” and that would be several years of missed sleep for all of us.
I am not saying teething isn’t uncomfortable and doesn’t affect little ones’ sleep, but it does not affect sleep as much as we blame it for. So let’s break it down a bit more.
I want to start by saying, every child is different!
We have friends whose son is just three days older than Olivia, and it’s been so fun to navigate parenthood together and watch how our kiddos change and develop so similarly but also so differently! He started walking sooner than she did, she started talking earlier than he did, he started falling asleep independently far before she did, but she woke up around 7 am and he got stuck at 4 am.
They’re just DIFFERENT! Olivia’s sleep started going off the rails when she was about four months old, and I remember it was within a month or two that this friend’s little guy started teething. I actually think he popped 2-4 teeth before Olivia had any!
BUT, because he was teething, and they were so close in age, and her sleep had been so off, we thought it was surely teething. Cue baby Tylenol because we just had no idea, and cue Olivia NOT cutting any teeth for a few more months.
It. Wasn’t. Teething.
Each tooth can even look different for the same child! One of Avery’s top teeth caused her to stir more one night, and sure enough, we could feel it through her gums the next morning.
Her two bottom molars came within days of each other, and those nights were not awesome. But we never would have known her top molars had come through had my husband not seen them!
And with our third, Isla, I honestly don’t think any teeth disrupted her sleep ever.
And now with our fourth, James, he has four teeth, and I don’t think teething has impacted him! And interesting case study there, because he’s six months old and still not sleep trained! I’ve mentioned it before, but we’ve been chasing some airway issues with him so haven’t been in a place we’ve felt comfortable sleep training.
So our oldest, Olivia, wasn’t sleep trained until 10 months old, and we THOUGHT teething was a big culprit there – turns out it wasn’t. We were able to establish a solid sleep foundation right from the get go with our middle two and therefore never had to officially sleep train them, and teething didn’t impact them much if at all.
And now with our fourth, teething doesn’t seem to be impacting him. He wakes in the night, but it’s not better or worse as his teeth come in (he currently has four teeth and two on the way!).
And now knowing what I know, compared to what I did with our first, I know that he’s waking up because he doesn’t have independent sleep skills! Teething honestly doesn’t even cross my mind when he wakes up.
So do I think a sleep trained baby handles teething better than a not sleep trained baby? Maybe.
If a baby is already overtired or sleep is already a struggle, that extra discomfort could add that much more stimulation to make sleep more of a struggle for a few days.
Whereas if there’s a babe whose norm is falling asleep independently and sleeping through the night, they will most often be able to fall back asleep, even after stirring a bit more than usual at night.
And if the pressure is really bothering them and we need to go help, and end up pulling out all the stops and breaking all the “rules” just to sleep…those sleep skills will still be there the next day to hop back on track.
So again, I’m not going to downright say teething never impacts baby or toddler sleep – that’s just not fair. But I will say it doesn’t impact their sleep nearly as much as we often assume it does. And there are lots of other things that could be impacting their sleep besides teething!
So now let’s switch gears to teething remedies.
What can we do to relieve teething pain and discomfort?
Teething Toys
Because of the pressure happening in our babies’ gums while teething, having something to chew on is helpful. If your baby is still young, they may need help holding the teether, getting it to their mouth, or keeping it in their mouth.
If they’re older, try to keep teething toys out and within reach for them to choose as needed!
Here are some common favorites:
Wet Wash Cloth
Another trick is to get a wet wash cloth and let your baby gnaw on it. You can even stick it in the freezer before giving it to your baby so the extra cold can soothe their gums all the more.
Massage
You can also try massage. If your little one will let you, using your fingers to massage their gums and provide some pressure – that can also be quite soothing and provide some comfort.
**Note that I’m not recommending medicine. I am not a medical provider, and you should always check with your doctor to see if that is something that would help. I want to make sure babies are not being given medicine regularly (like we did!!) when teething is not actually causing sleep challenges.**
How to Approach Bedtime
If you know your baby is teething, you might be nervous about bedtime. What should you do? Should you change anything, just in case?
My answer is not…approach bedtime just as you always do! Follow your same schedules and same routines as if it’s a normal day. Because there’s a good chance it’s going to be a normal night!
If, however, you think your child is teething and some of the above tricks have been helping during the day, do those in the bedtime routine, as well, to help relieve that pressure.
So let your baby gnaw on a frozen wash cloth while you read stories, or chew on the teether while doing a diaper change.
Just remember, once you lay your baby down, take that item away! There should be nothing in the crib with them until they’re at least 12 months old.
If your child seems to be having an especially challenging time falling asleep, or they wake in the night when that’s not usually the norm, go help them! Start with the least hands on interventions and then build up according to what they actually need.
One or two off nights is not going to now set back all of the hard work you put into their sleep!
Can you sleep train while teething?
Final question…can you sleep train your baby while they’re teething?
YES!
Your little one will be teething on and off for quite a while, and there’s just not a way to predict when that’ll actually happen. Like I said before, if it does disrupt sleep, it’s likely only going to be for the day or two the tooth is physically cutting through the gums, and sleep training is generally a two-three week process.
Off nights will come and go, and that’s part of raising real people!
Plus sleep training doesn’t mean no comfort – you can still absolutely comfort your little one while sleep training, and I go into more of those details in this post.
Conclusion
In all of this, do not hear me say teething is not thing, your baby absolutely isn’t impacted. And don’t hear me say not to soothe or comfort your child. Absolutely provide comfort and help them when they need it!
I’m simply asking you to consider that your child’s sleep will likely not be as affected by teething as you think it might be.
As parents, we’re quick to provide extra comfort and cuddles to our hurting children, and that is a natural and beautiful thing. When it comes to teething and sleep, try not to let teething instill fear of what may come in the night and especially if they’re already great sleepers, trust they’ll continue to sleep well!
But guess what? Let’s say you throw ALL of the rules out the window when your child is teething (or is sick, or you’re traveling), you can get back on track when it’s over!
A few off days may set you back a bit, but don’t think it’s impossible to get that great sleeper back.
If you’re reading this and the concept of having a “great sleeper,” or being confident in your child’s sleep skills seems foreign to you, let’s chat! Because this is all possible, even for you.
With Grace,
Lauren
