With the beautiful fall weather finally rolling in, cold and flu season is quickly approaching (although I feel like all year is sick season with kiddos!). But as a parent, there’s not much that makes me more sad than when my babies are sick.

No matter what we do or do not do, even the healthiest child is going to get sick. But a question I get all the time is, what about their sleep when they’re sick? What do we do?

And when you’ve worked so hard to get a solid sleeper, sickness can feel extra scary, not knowing what’s going to happen with your little one’s naps and nighttime sleep!

The good news is, however, sickness does not have to mean sleep is forever derailed! It might not even be derailed while your little one is sick.

So in today’s post, we’re going to cover:

• How to approach sleep when your little one is sick
• What changes you might need to make to your child’s current sleep routines when they’re not feeling well
• What to do if your baby or toddler has a tough time sleeping while they’re sick
• How to get sleep back on track once your child is feeling better!

 

How should we approach sleep when our kids are sick?

The short answer is, to keep things as close to normal as possible.

It’s easy to assume that because our kids haven’t been feeling well, there’s no way they’ll sleep well. But in my experience as a mom and sleep consultant, I’d say that about 80-90 percent of the time they sleep just as well when they’re sick, if not better!

And I should say this goes for kids who are independent sleepers. Because when they’re already sleeping well, there’s a great chance they’ll continue sleeping well even though they’re not feeling well.

So rather than assuming your little one won’t sleep well and automatically trying to rock them to sleep or pull them into bed with you, lay them down like you always do and see how well they do!

However, if you’ve laid them down, they’re clearly having a tough time, and you know they don’t feel well, then of course go help them! They may need extra shushing, patting, or to even be rocked to sleep. And that’s okay!

We are going to help them in whatever way we need to. But first assume sleep will be normal and great, and it likely will be. And then on the off chance they’re just having a tough time, help them however you need to.

Now, if sleep is already a challenge for your child, sleep likely will be more thrown off by their sickness. Because now they have two “hard things” against them – sleep and sickness. But again, the same rule applies here – try to treat sleep as you normally would, and then give them the extra help, based on what they actually need.

At the end of the day, when we are sick, one of the best things for us is SLEEP! So we want to do just about anything we can to help our little ones sleep, which sometimes means we give them space to sleep on their own, and other times that means we sacrifice our own sleep to help them.

How to adjust sleep when your child is sick

Should you follow the same sleep schedule and routines when your baby or toddler is sick? Should you sleep in their room? Bring them to yours?

1. Try to keep your child’s sleep schedule the same when they’re sick, but recognize they may need less awake time or longer naps.

Try to keep your little one’s sleep schedule as “same” as possible when they’re sick, but adjust according to what they need!

For example, if your baby usually has a 2.5-hour awake window in the morning, still aim for that 2.5-hour awake window when they’re sick. Or if your toddler usually naps at noon, try to keep that nap at noon when they’re sick! If, however, you’re at the two-hour mark, or it’s 11:15 am, and it seems like there’s no way they’re going to stay awake that whole time, then put them down earlier!

So aim for your child’s normal schedule, but follow their cues – they may just need to go to sleep sooner than usual.

Similarly, when it comes to nap length, assume your child’s nap will be the same as always! But also recognize that they may take a shorter nap due to not feeling well, or oppositely, they may need some extra sleep that day, so let it happen! We generally cap daytime sleep around three hours for babies, but if they’re sick, I might stretch that to 3.5-4 hours if they are capable!

Similarly, if your toddler usually takes a two-hour nap, I might let them go 2.5-3 hours if they’re still sleeping. Or maybe your older child doesn’t nap anymore, but they pass out on the couch mid-morning when they’re sick – let them sleep!

Sleep is the best medicine here so let’s give it to them!

Now how will you know if they got too much sleep? If they wake up extra early the next morning, for example, it’s probably because they maxed out on daytime sleep the day before. Or if you let them sleep in a bit more in the morning but then their naps that day are just terrible, it’s probably because they were thrown off by the extra sleep-in time.

There’s a lot of “watch and see” when it comes to little ones being sick and they’re all going to be a bit different. And it might even be different sickness to sickness for the same kiddo! So try to keep things as same as possible, but then follow their cues.

2. Don’t be surprised if your child stirs or wakes more in the night when they’re sick.

Know that it’s totally normal for your child to experience some night wakings due to extra discomfort from being sick. If they have a cough, you may hear them coughing and stirring, or grabbing their water bottle a lot more overnight. And you may have to respond to these wakings or you might just hear them more than usual!

Or if your little one has a fever break in the night, they may wake up drenched in sweat and now cold or just plain uncomfortable, and need help changing. Or if they’re really not eating much during the day, even though they haven’t had a night feed in a while, they may temporarily slip one back in simply because they’re not eating during the day!

(Although don’t let this freak you out, it’s very normal for appetites to be low during sickness, and as long as your child is staying hydrated, they should be okay! They very likely won’t wake up due to hunger, though it can happen!)

Just don’t be surprised if their overnight sleep seems more restless or if you have to respond to some wakings – that’s okay, your child is sick!

3. Drop the wait time – maybe…

In normal healthy seasons, I suggest parents wait at least 10 minutes before responding to their child’s night wakings, as independent sleepers are most often able to fall back asleep without needing any interventions.

When they’re sick, however, you can throw that 10-minute wait rule out the window and respond right away, if you feel it’s necessary.

As a mama, I hold this one loosely with my girls and gauge what’s actually going on and what my mama instinct says. I usually still aim to wait 10 minutes unless something feels off!

I’ve absolutely heard my girls wake up coughing, they’re clealry annoyed with the cough but they’re working it out, and they do fall back asleep within a few minutes. And I’m so thankful I waited, because me going in there probably would have made for a much longer wake-up and more frustration for all.

If a child were to be throwing up, however, I’d be in there asap!

You know your child, you know how they were feeling during the day, and you know the differences in cry or moan, so consider the wait time, but jump right in if your gut tells you otherwise. Your child might just need you now!

4. Keep your child in their own bed, if possible.

In the “keep things as same as possible” umbrella, keeping your little one in their own crib or bed and in their room is often ideal. That’s what they know and it’s going to be the most normal for them! Video monitors are a great invention for still knowing what’s going on from another room.

Now, If your little one is sick enough that you don’t want to leave them alone at night (maybe they have a high fever or are vomiting a lot), I recommend you move a mattress or sleeping bag to your child’s room and sleep there, so their environment doesn’t change – the different environment alone could throw them off!

I will say, however, that we’ve almost always moved our girls to our room when they’re sick because it doesn’t throw their sleep off, and that way we can stay in our own bed. So this isn’t a must, but like everything else, think about your child. If a new environment can throw them off, or maybe they assume your room means your bed, that might be more challenging.

The bottom line here is, let’s first think about what’s actually best for your little one and what will help them have the best sleep. And then of course think about what will help you feel like you know what’s going on, that you can respond to them well, and will hopefully get some sleep, too.

No one needs a sick parent and sick child!

What to do if your baby or toddler is struggling to sleep when they’re sick

As I referenced earlier, do whatever you need to do to help your child sleep when they’re sick!

I always recommend starting with the least hands-on interventions first and then building up according to what your child is telling you they need.

So first try to go into your baby’s room for just a few minutes to shush and pat them. If that’s not working, do a brief pick-up to calm them, then lay them back down. If they’re still struggling, maybe shush and pat them in their crib until they’re fully asleep! And if it’s still not working? Rock them to sleep and cross your fingers for the crib transfer.

The same goes for toddlers and older kids in big beds! Try to first go in for a few minutes to reassure them that they’re okay – maybe fill their water bottle, remind them you have the monitor, and then leave again. And if they’re not happy about it? Tell them you’ll come to check on them again in a few minutes! And if that’s still not working? Lay with them for a few minutes, maybe even lay with them until they’re back asleep.

Do you see how we’re starting with the least hands-on interventions, trying to stay somewhat on track with the independent sleep we’ve worked so hard to reach, but recognizing they may just need more help?

And know that however far you have to go to help them sleep and for however long that lasts, you can always get their sleep back on track when they’re no longer sick!

Here’s a real-life example for you…

When my daughter was around 12 months old she had a cold and her sleep was really thrown off. I took her to the doctor 2-3 times over 4-5 days because I was so sure she had an ear infection, but she didn’t! Her cold was just making sleep really hard.

For three full days and nights, we felt like we were back in newborn territory again, because we had to hold her for all naps and overnight – crib transfers, even in the middle of the night, did not work.

We still tried to lay her down for most naps and bedtime, hoping it would stick, but we knew we’d have to pick her up after 5-10 minutes.

I remember that fourth night, however, I laid her down for bedtime, fully expecting to have to scoop her up soon, but in that 5-10 minute wait, I noticed her cry was different.

Unlike the past three days and nights, she wasn’t in pain or uncomfortable, she was just plain mad. An angry cry still isn’t a fun cry, but an angry cry I can deal with! A sick/in pain cry, not so much. So that night I didn’t go back in to scoop her up and start our night of holding her, I stayed out of her room.

I think I did a check-in around the 20ish minute mark, to check for a poopy diaper and to reassure her, but I knew if I went in more it would just make it worse.

It took her about 45 minutes to fall asleep, which again, was brutal, but then guess what? She fell asleep! And then slept through the night! And the next day? She fell asleep without a problem for both of her naps, and we were now back on track.

When she clearly wasn’t feeling well, we did whatever it took – it was so brutal holding her upright all night, but we did it. As soon as I could tell her cry had changed, however, and I knew she was okay, we were back to great sleep.

How to get your baby or toddler’s sleep back on track once they’re no longer sick

Let’s just say this sickness was a doozy, and for whatever reason, although your little one is better now, sleep is still just haywire. What now?

I gave you one example with my daughter! When you are confident that your little one is feeling better and you’re ready to go back to independent sleep, jump back in! You very likely won’t have to totally re-sleep train from the ground up.

I always recommend jumping back in with a leave and check method – that’s usually about 10 minutes out, 1-2 minutes in, until your little one is asleep. With our daughter, that was closer to a 20 minute check-in, because I knew 10 minutes would be too frequent and too aggravating for her.

With a toddler or older child, that leave and check might be something like, “I’m going to take the garbage out, then I’ll come check on you.” Or, “I’m going to put sis down, then I’ll be back to check on you.”

We are giving them the space they need and we know they can handle to fall asleep, but also giving them the reassurance and reminders they likely need after having such different sleep patterns for however long.

If starting with leave and check feels too abrupt, then try a chair method again, but speed it up! For example, if you did a six day chair method before, try three days this time. Or if you did a 9 or 12 day chair method, try around around five days now.

We can generally jump back in with some “maintenance” and be back to normal sleep within just a couple of days. But if you truly need to go back to day one of sleep training, then go back to day one! And know that it won’t be long before your solid sleeper is back again.

Conclusion

Our babies and kids will get sick, it’s unfortunately inevitable. But just because our kiddos are sick does not mean their sleep will automatically be off!

So first assume they will sleep just as well when they’re sick because if they’re an independent sleeper, chances are they will! But certainly adjust if necessary, according to what they actually need.

And in all of this, trust your instincts and care for your child as you feel is best! And if you do happen to backslide a bit after your child’s been sick for some time, or you throw every sleep rule out the window while they’re sick, don’t worry – you can always get back on track once they feel better and you’re ready. Your child already knows how to fall asleep independently, they just need to be reminded.

With Grace,

Lauren