Growing up, my brother and sister had special blankets, my other sister had a stuffed animal, and I had my pillow – we were all attached to them when it came to sleep! I’m pretty sure both of my sisters still have theirs, my mom hid my brother’s in fear that he’d one day throw it away, and despite my best efforts to keep track of it (name and phone number sharpied directly on the pillow), it’s long gone.

Did you ever have something like this??

In this blog post, I will be sharing:

• What a lovey is
• When it’s safe to introduce a lovey, stuffed animal, or comfort item to your baby
• How to introduce your baby to a lovey
• The most popular lovies

And much more!

What is a lovey?

A lovey is most often a small breathable blanket (or blankie), a stuffed animal, or another comfort item that provides extra comfort to children, specifically in regard to sleep.

For those of you wondering, yes, a lovey could technically be considered a sleep prop – something your little one “needs” to sleep. But it’s a sleep prop similar to blackout curtains, a sound machine, or a swaddle/sleep sack; they are all very helpful tools in helping your child both fall and stay asleep, however they don’t require anything from parents beyond the bedtime routine. Kids are totally independent with them.

While a pacifier might seem to be the same kind of idea, it’s not! Unlike a blanket or stuffed animal a child can simply cuddle close to their body, a pacifier requires a physical response (sucking!) in order to engage with it.

So even if a baby is independent with their pacifier – if it falls out, they have to not only wake up, but find the pacifier, turn it the right way, then place it back in her mouth, and this causes a more full wake up and much more broken sleep. Read this blog post to learn more about pacifiers and sleep.

With lovies, however, a baby or toddler can simply cuddle it close to their body and sleep. If they happen to lose it, it’s much easier and bigger to find, and then simply bring it closer to their body again. It’s a brief waking!

Now moving on to the bigger question…

When can you safely introduce a lovey, stuffed animal, or other comfort item to your baby?

According the the American Academy of Pediatrics, it is not safe to have anything in your child’s crib until she is 12 months old, and it’s at this time you can offer a small blankie or stuffed animal.

I have heard of some parents using a lovey with their baby when they are younger, like on car rides, during feedings, when their child is upset, etc, so that once their little one is 12 months old, they’re already familiar and/or attached. I’m not organized enough to think ahead like that, but I love that idea!

With our girls, we simply started giving them one after they turned 12 months old!

But also, if you’re reading this and your child is older than 12 months and you’ve not introduced a lovey, it’s not too late! You can introduce one at any time beyond 12 months old.

How do you introduce a lovey or stuffed animal to your baby for sleep?

I suggest introducing your child to a comfort device at bedtime first, becuase daytime sleep is just harder, so let’s not throw a twist in there just yet. Start by including your child’s new lovey in their bedtime story. Your child may choose to hold it or you can hold it, and try to show them how you can hug the lovey. See if they’ll hug it, too!

For the first few nights, simply see how your child reacts to the lovey during the bedtime routine. Once they start acknowledging it, seeking it, or enjoying it during the bedtime routine, lay the lovey down with your baby in their crib. Kiss the lovey goodnight and kiss your baby goodnight. Put it in the arm or hand as you lay them down.

Even as you get your baby up in the morning or up from their nap, acknowledge the lovey! Make it feel like a normal part of your sleep rhythm.

Now, don’t be surprised if your little one takes extra long to fall asleep at first, as they now have a fun new buddy joining them for sleep…they will fall asleep eventually! But also don’t be surprised if your baby completely ignores the lovey the first several times it’s in the crib, or if they throw it out of the crib…that’s okay, too! Continue offering it at bedtime and then naps, too, and see what happens.

Shortly after our oldest turned one, we tried introducing her to a cute little lovey we got at one of our baby showers, and she just couldn’t have cared less. We had it in her pack ‘n play for at least two weeks and she completely ignored it. I even bought a tiny blankie, thinking maybe she’d prefer that, but again, she just didn’t care. So we ditched the lovey idea altogether!

Then when she turned two, we entered a season of lots of moving and her sleep was definitely thrown off. So we bought a really soft baby doll and called her “special baby”, hoping she’d finally attach to a lovey for sleep.

She loved the baby, and five years later it’s actually still named “special baby”, but she just didn’t want it when she slept.

UNTIL…fast forward about a year, we had baby number two, baby number two was 12 months old, and we gave her a lovey. That same little pink one Olivia rejected when she was one. And guess what? She LOVED IT! She took to it right away, and now 3.5 years later, she still sleeps with it every night. But when Olivia saw Avery with a lovey, she wondered where her lovey was!

So we gave her this little puppet thing, because we had nothing else, and she slept with that for quite some time. But she’s really never been attached to any lovey like Avery is. Even to this day, when Olivia gets a new little stuffie or something, she asks if she can sleep with it as her new lovey. And when we travel, she sometimes grabs something she’d like to bring, other times says she doesn’t want anything. Avery, on the other hand, has had the same one since she turned one, and then also added a soft little baby someone gifted her a few years ago, so she sleeps with the same two every night.

And when our youngest, Isla, was 13-14 months old, we gave her a little lovey, and similar to Avery, she attached to it pretty quickly!

Now this brings us to another popular question…

Do you HAVE TO give your child a lovey?

Nope! Like I said before, I tried really hard with my oldest and despite my best efforts and trying a few different kinds, she just couldn’t have cared less. I honestly think she saw her sleep sack as a lovey! Every child is different.

I will say, as a mama and sleep consultant, I love the idea of lovies.  Because they could help with daycare sleep, or when you have a babysitter, or when you travel, as the lovey is one more piece of comfort and home when something is different. Or as your child gets older and starts expressing some fears around sleep, you can point to that lovey as a tool they can use for comfort in the night.  

But simply because your child is attached to a little blankie or stuffed animal will not automatically make them a great sleeper – sleep isn’t about having the perfect product!

At the end of the day, it’s independent sleep skills that will make your child a great sleeper, a little lovey won’t magically solve all of their challenges.

Extra tips when introducing a lovey or stuffed animal to your baby:

• Sleep with your child’s new lovey for several nights before giving it to your child. Giving it a familiar and comforting scent could help your little one attach!
• Keep your lovey in your child’s bed/your child’s room. As soon as that lovey starts migrating into the living room or car, it’s bound to get misplaced. And no one wants a bedtime meltdown and frantic search due to the missing lovey! Which leads me to…
• Buy two of the same lovies and switch them out every once in a while so you can wash one, in case one is misplaced, for use at daycare, etc.
• Choose a lovey that is washable! I don’t need to explain that one…
• For older children who have a zoo of animals and blankets they love, try to limit the actual items in their bed to two. We want their bed to be a place for sleep rather than play.

The Most Popular Lovies

• Jellycat Soothers
• Aden and Anais Security Blankets
• Linzy Rag Dolls
• Plush toys- I’ve seen toddlers who are really attached to a hard or noisy toy (i.e. guitar, or car), so their parents find a stuffed one, instead!
• Parent’s shirt- for families who have been co-sleeping, or for children who are used to more parental support in the night, sleeping with something that smells like the parent is a helpful comfort item to start with.

Conclusion

Remember, a lovey, small blanket, or stuffed animal is NOT going to be the piece of the puzzle that all of a sudden fixes all of your child’s sleep challenges. So if the above information is just too overwhelming, you don’t have to introduce your baby to a comfort item!

It could, however, make your child a little more comfortable going to sleep, especially in new places or when circumstances have changed. And it’s super cute when little kids love on their lovies.

If you’re wondering when and how to introduce your toddler to a pillow and big blanket, read this post!

With Grace,

Lauren

Note that this blog contains some affiliate links, but the reviews are from my personal use.