Have you ever shared a hotel room with your kiddos? And if so, how’d it go?
And if not, does the idea terrify you? Or would you do it tomorrow?
Whether you’ve done it 20 times or 0, I think a super common concern parents have is, “If we’re all sleeping in the same room, no one is going to sleep.”
And I get it! I’ve been there! Especially after little James was born, I can think of a handful of nights we all had to sleep in the same room, and with a baby whose sleep is super unpredictable, it’s a bit scary!
AND, sleep is still possible!
So let’s chat about it, from a mom who’s done it too many times to count, and a sleep coach who has walked many families through squeezing into a hotel room, as well.
Before I really dive in, I want you to know that this post all about traveling and how to get the best sleep possible while traveling, so that’s maybe part one to this post. In this one, we’re focusing specifically on sleeping in a hotel room with your kids, including:
- Having realistic expectations
- Keeping the sleep environment and routines as “same” as possible
- Where everyone will sleep in the hotel room
- How to create some sort of separation
- Managing multiple kids and bedtimes in a hotel room
- What to do if it’s a tough night
And more!
Realistic Expectations
Just like when you go stay at your parents’ house, or a beach rental, when preparing for a hotel stay with kids, it’s really important to manage your expectations. Because travel sleep isn’t home sleep.
Could everyone sleep really well? Yes, that’s certainly the hope! And I can tell you from experience, it’s possible!
Could things go a bit haywire? Yes, certainly possible. You’re traveling, schedules likely aren’t perfect, there are new noises, and you’re all super close together!
And if one kiddo doesn’t sleep well, that might wake another, and it’s going to wake you…you see where this is going.
So I would say, rather than making the goal or expectation “perfect sleep” while you’re all sharing a hotel room, maybe make the goal, “good enough sleep,” so that frustrating night waking doesn’t ruin your trip!
Now I’m going to dive into some tips to make sharing a hotel room as smooth as possible, because while squeezing your whole family into a hotel room isn’t necessarily ideal, it’s totally possible!
Keep Things as “Same” as Possible
I’m not going to get into the nitty gritty of sleep schedules while away, that’s all in this post, like I mentioned before.
But I do want to talk about the sleep environment and routines, and recreating what your little one is used to as much as you can.
Environment
Keep it Dark!
Just like anywhere else you’re traveling, trying to make the room as dark as possible is really helpful! The great thing about hotels is they usually have pretty great blackout curtains. So for my older kiddos, I really don’t worry about the sunlight at all.
The tricky thing about hotel rooms, however, is that the windows are huge. So when they don’t have great blackout curtains, there’s really no way to black them out. You’d need a lot of foil and painter’s tape, or several suction cup blinds.
This is one of the many reasons I can’t recommend the SlumberPod enough. I talk all about why I love the SlumberPod here, but in short, it’s an instant blackout pod you can put over a pack n play or mini crib, and it makes traveling with kids so much smoother. (You can use the code VIAGRACESPOD for a discount!)
We’ll talk about another reason the SlumberPod is amazing for hotel rooms, specifically, soon, but for the sake of knowing your baby or toddler will have a totally dark space, no matter what the hotel window treatment situation is, is wonderful.
And I actually think my girls have used the SlumberPod at age 5! And I know my teammate Sam had her 6-year-old in the SlumberPod on a recent trip. So if you don’t have one yet, definitely check it out.
Bring Sound Machines (or Multiple)!
Another big sleep environment piece to prioritize when traveling, and again while sharing a hotel room, is a sound machine. I would for sure bring one, and I would even consider bringing two or three to spread around the room, especially if you have multiple kids sleeping in there.
We talk all about sound machines here, so remember, the goal is not to drown out any and all noise. But it’s helpful to have that constant sound in the background, so that voices in the hallway, trucks on the highway, the hotel door opening or closing, or a sibling wake-up is less likely to cause a big sleep disturbance.
Bring the Toddler Clock
The last sleep environment piece I want to talk about is a toddler clock. If your little one is used to starting their day when their Hatch turns a certain color, make sure you bring it with you!
So if your child wakes up before it’s officially morning time, they lay there quietly or go back to sleep, because that’s the norm! We don’t need them popping out of bed and getting you simply because they see you in the bed next to them. Or we don’t need them calling out and waking up their other siblings because they woke up early. So if they are used to that okay-to-wake routine at home, bring the toddler clock with you to the hotel.
With the sound machines and toddler clocks, make sure you bring an extension cord! You never know if there will be an outlet near where you can fit your little one’s bed, so pack an extension cord or two!
We have a free packing list for traveling with kids, and you better believe an extension cord is on there. So if you want a comprehensive checklist to make sure you don’t forget anything on your next big trip, snag it!
Now, as we wrap up the environment section, I also recommend unplugging the hotel alarm clock when you get there! Or at the very least make sure there are no alarms set – we don’t need that rude awakening at 6 am.
The Bedtime Routine
The other “keep things as same as possible” area I want to talk about is in the bedtime routine. Just like in any new place, walking through the same routine you would at home is helpful in alerting your babies and toddlers, especially, that although this doesn’t look like your normal sleep environment, sleep is happening.
So bring the sleep sack and lovey, bring a few familiar bedtime stories, and sing the same song! The more pieces of home you can bring with you, the less ‘new’ the sleep environment feels.
Where Everyone Will Sleep in the Hotel Room
For our babies and toddlers, we always bring a pack ‘n play or use the hotel’s pack ‘n play or mini crib.
Make sure you know if you can reserve a pack ‘n play, or if it’s “first come, first served”! We have stayed at one or two hotels where they couldn’t guarantee us a pack ‘n play until we arrived and they saw how many were available. And I’m definitely not taking that chance, so we brought our own. Whereas others put them right in your reservation!
I’ve already mentioned the SlumberPod and that we use them as long as we can – even if your toddler recently transitioned out of the crib! I still lean toward using the SlumberPod as long as possible, and you can use it with the SlumberTot! An inflatable toddler mattress that fits perfectly under the SlumberPod. (Don’t forget to use the code VIAGRACES POD!)
And then the big kids can sleep in a big bed!
Sometimes we have our two older girls share a bed, but what’s become our hotel norm recently is that I sleep with one, and Jason sleeps with the other. It just feels special to them, and we stay at hotels so infrequently, so why not?!
They know the norm is not sleeping with us at home, so it’s never been an issue coming back home.
Just a month ago, we were in Chicago and all six of us were in the same room for three or four nights. Our 15-month-old and 3.5-year-old were both in the SlumberPod – one in a hotel pack ‘n play and the other in the SlumberTot – and the older two girls were split between Jason and me.
We were all super cozy in there and we had to slide a chair somewhere and get creative with where we put the suitcases, but we made it work!
Try to Create Separation in the Room
I remember when I first became a sleep consultant, the woman in charge of the program said, “Tell families that when they travel, they should get a hotel suite so they have separate bedrooms – at least for the parents to be in one room and the kids in another.”
And I remember being like, “Uhhh, that sounds great for the families who can afford a suite, but what about the families who can’t? Or just choose to spend their travel money differently?”
So yes, while having a big, fancy hotel room with multiple rooms is amazing and certainly makes things easier, it’s just not always possible!
But creating some sort of separation is.
I bet you can guess what my favorite “separator” is…the SlumberPod.
Not just because it’s an instant blackout space, but in a hotel room, specifically, the SlumberPod makes it so easy to feel like you can still use the actual hotel room while your little one is sleeping and they can’t see you!
You can put your older kids to bed when the baby is already asleep, and the movement won’t disrupt them. You can watch a show on your computer or read a book while they’re sleeping and the light won’t bother them.
We’ve packed up our whole hotel room while our baby was napping in the SlumberPod – it works!
Even if you don’t have a SlumberPod, you can still create some sense of separation. Long ago, before we had one, we moved the little hotel chair that sits in the corner of the room to the other side of our baby’s pack ‘n play to act like a little wall.
Could she still see us? Yes, but it felt like there was some sort of separation.
Another “divider” we’ve used is opening up the hotel armoire/wardrobe. The open door acted as a little “wall”. Again, not perfect, but it makes it feel like there’s some separation.
With older kids sleeping in the regular hotel bed, there’s really no way to provide separation within the hotel room.
So this is where we’ve definitely gone into the bathroom and Jason and I have watched a show on the computer while the kids are falling asleep or sleeping.
We once tried just watching a show in our bed with headphones on while the big girls were trying to fall asleep, and the light and curiosity were just too distracting. Understandably so!
We’ve also just let the big kids go to bed a bit later than usual, maybe even watch a show with us for a bit, so we can all go to bed at the same time and it doesn’t feel wildly early to us.
We have been able to read on our phones before bed, and it’s not disturbed them as they fall asleep.
So again, when sharing a hotel room with your kids, you don’t need a literal separate space, if that’s just not in the budget or the plan. But having some sort of visual separation is really helpful.
Tips for Sleeping in a Hotel Room with Multiple Kids
First, I’d say expectations are everything. If your kids share a room at home, you probably don’t have to say anything. They’re used to going to bed at the same time or in the same room, so it doesn’t feel super new or giddy-exciting where they want to stay up talking.
But if your kids don’t usually share a room, have a little conversation about what this will look like!
“Hey, I know it’s silly that you can see their bed over there, but once the lights are off, our voices are quiet.”
“If you hear him wake up in the night, remember it’s mommy and daddy’s job to help; you just go back to sleep.”
Or for the families who have recently sleep trained!
I wrapped up with the family of a 5-year-old recently and they were preparing to travel overseas. And they’d be sharing a room some of the time, so part of our conversation was that expectation setting of, “You sleep in your own bed now. Even though you’ll be able to see mommy and daddy and our bed will be close, you’re still expected to stay in your bed until your light turns green.”
How to Handle Staggered Bedtimes
I’ve absolutely taken my big kids into the bathroom while the littles are sleeping and we draw pictures and hang out before it’s their bedtime.
We’ve also sent one parent with the big kids to the hotel lobby while the other stays in with the snoozing littles.
You could also have your little one stay up a bit later to match the big sibling’s bedtime, but that definitely depends on how that little one handles a later schedule or overtiredness.
This is also where I’ll put in the plug for having kiddos who sleep independently is a game changer! When your little one’s norm is falling asleep on their own and sleeping through the night, it makes sharing a hotel room way less scary. I’m not saying if your kids are independent sleepers sharing a hotel room should be perfect, but I am saying it helps!
If their norm is sleeping through the night, they likely will in the hotel room, too! Or if they hear the hotel room door open and close, they might stir awake but then go back to sleep, because that’s their norm.
When there’s no telling how long it’ll take to get them to sleep, and how many times they’ll wake up, and what if we’re all awake at 2 am, no one’s getting any sleep…that would be brutal.
Last summer, when our little James’s sleep was still haywire, and we were in all kinds of survival mode, the six of us shared a hotel room for the night, and I was a bit nervous for how it would go. I was sharing a bed with our oldest, and James was definitely in bed with us some of that time. It was not a fun night.
But I remember wondering how in the world she was sleeping through his motion and noise, because she was literally right there. And in the morning, she said she did hear him a few times, but then just went back to sleep!
Kind of like, “Eh, just James, mom’s got him.” Just like you or I might think, “Ah, must be a storm.” And we go back to sleep.
So that’s absolutely the hope when traveling with solid sleepers. Even when all sleeping in the same room.
I’m never going to tell you you have to sleep train, and I’m not going to tell you the perfect time to sleep train. But I will say, if you’re reading this and you’ve been considering sleep training, and you’ve got a trip coming up in a month or two or three or more, this might actually be a great time to sleep train to set you up for more sleep success while you’re away!
Especially if you’ll be sharing a hotel room.
But I’m not going to pretend that if you sleep train and follow all of the tips I’ve given in this post, you’re for sure set up for a great night in the hotel room. So let’s talk about what happens if, for whatever reason, sleep just falls apart…
What If One of Them Wakes Up?
I mentioned we were in Chicago about a month ago, all in the same room, and Chicago is an hour behind us, so a slight change in time zone.
Our girls adjusted quickly and without a problem, and although we were able to get little James’ nap and bedtime schedule on Chicago time quickly, he woke up early every morning; his little body clock was stuck there.
If we had been at a rental house and it was just James in the room with us, or he was in his own room, I would have given him a lot more time and space to try to fall back asleep. Or at least register maybe he shouldn’t be up right now.
And if it was 2 am, I probably would have waited longer, even with my girls right there.
But in a hotel room with my whole family, at 5:30 am when they’re all in a light stage of sleep, you better believe I did whatever I could to get that little guy to be quiet and hopefully fall back asleep. Which was basically nursing him.
I remember one morning I got him back to sleep and tried transferring him back to bed, which was a bad idea. The next morning I was able to get him back to sleep and just held him.
Is that the ideal response to an early morning wake-up? Especially if it’s not the norm, and I don’t want it to be the norm? No!
But when our whole family is sharing a hotel room, I’m going to flex quite a bit.
That same trip, however, both our 6-year-old and 3-year-old had a little sleep talking/crying out, on separate nights, of course. Our 6-year-old was actually sleepwalking and talking, so we pulled her back into bed quickly. But no one else stirred.
But when our 3-year-old cried out, we paused. We were pretty sure she’d fall back asleep and didn’t want to cause an actual wake-up or make things worse, so we just paused, and she went back to sleep. And again, no one else woke up; or if they did, they didn’t tell us and went right back to sleep.
So the example with our son is that I was ready to put whatever band-aid I needed to on the situation to try to protect everyone else’s sleep. I didn’t need four kids up at 5:30 am, so survival mode. And I knew that if for some reason this set off a string of early wakings once we got home, I had the tools to get his sleep back on track!
But in the example with our girls, that shows how, when possible, it’s helpful to stick as closely as possible to what would be a typical response to a night waking so that you don’t create new habits you then have to undo once you’re back home.
If you’re traveling this summer and sharing a hotel room is just the iceberg of all of your worries, we’ve put together a complete Travel Sleep Guide that walks through hotel rooms, time changes, naps on the go, flights, road trips, and more. You can stop your endless googling and have all of the answers in one place.
Conclusion
The goal of this post is to walk through the practicals of how to sleep in a hotel room with your kids, whether you have one or multiple! Because good sleep (or pretty good sleep) is totally possible, even with six of you crammed in a hotel room.
Also remember that no matter how well you prepare, you may just have an off night or two or three, and that’s okay. We’re all real people and off nights happen. Don’t panic after a rough hotel stay, because you can always get sleep back on track when you get home!
And if you’re reading this and you can’t even begin to imagine a good night of sleep at a hotel because you still aren’t getting great nights of sleep at home, we would love to walk you through a step-by-step plan to get there! So that you, too, can travel, and squeeze into a small hotel room, and still get sleep. Click here to learn more about what it would look like to work together.
With Grace,
Lauren
